The Hammer And The Anvil
by Hector Flores
Summary: Thor searches for something that was stolen, with the aid of his lover he seeks that which is very closely tied to him, his war hammer, little did he know that searching for it he would find that sometimes loss leads to greater gains, he would get stronger, find happiness, and while helping the friend of his lover, friends and some might even call, a family.
1. Chapter 1

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

 _Please attempt to remain civil in the reviews._

For as long as I can remember I have been with my family and friends, always a warrior, always in conflict but it was something I did to protect those I cared about, little did I know that it appears one of my relatives did find such rosy feeling to be mutual.

I have been called many times to help the mortals in some rather unorthodox ways, then again, my birth is not exactly what you call normal even among those in our pantheon, I mean who is going to ever believe that Odin would downright have an affair with a giant and what is even less believable is that his wife would welcome me.

I am a mother would call it, rather puny for a giant, she used to tell me that made me more adorable, I swear she did that to embarrass me any chance she got, and she did it most of my childhood, as I grew up with giants, I learned many things, the common languages of monsters oddly enough was one of such things.

In my many travels out of Asgard I helped many mortals, but there is something I also did, I met with other gods from other pantheons, the least friendly of these was a man named Zeus, is it my fault his thunderbolt is a downgraded version of what I can do? Aphrodite keeps bugging me about when will I finally allow myself to fall in love.

Not ever soon, since my last lover was a human and that human didn't live that long, well not long compared to how we live, sixty measly years, that is all, she died of old age, that is old? I have lived for hundreds, if not more, as I buried her, I swore never again to fall in love with a mortal, never again to form a relationship with one, for the pain of their loss, I can still feel it, even decades later after they died.

I did have many friends in the Greek pantheon, for the life of me, I swear that when people talk about Hephaestus, they always tell me he is a large, muscular, disfigured man, boy, they got that wrong, must be the name, she is really strong, but she has a beautiful red hair, a rather lovely figure, and the only thing is she lost an eye due to an accident in her forge when she was young.

We have blacksmiths, and even one is a member of our pantheon, but whenever my war hammer needed repair I always took it to my friend, I can't stand the fact that Loki keeps telling everyone that listens that the only reason I do this is so that I can shamelessly flirt with a Greek goddess.

Speaking of things people get wrong, Loki is not a guy, not that you could tell, she is my dear little sister, and for some odd reason she can't compare to my favorite blacksmith in several areas, my friend is nice, friendly and polite, my sister is rude, loud, selfish, and what mortals call a tomboy.

I do love my sister never mind her many shortcomings, but then again we are family. I know mother often tells me to keep my guard up, my adoptive mother, my actual mother died quite a long time ago, Hera became my adoptive mother and would you know it, she too teases the living daylights out of me, she keeps telling me when can she meet my goddess lover, and how happy she is I am not dating a mortal again.

Mortals worship us, for crying out loud, their worship is the source of most of our power, and she would say something like that? I swear if they ever get wind of what she said, they would burn down her temples and stop praying to her altogether, then again their prayers and offerings have become less and less.

One day I went to get my trusty war hammer and wouldn't you know it, some thief stole it, Mjolnir is more than a simple weapon to me, it is the conduit with which I used my power, I can't even maintain my power as a god, without it I can only use lightning through my body and that is limited.

I can not be in my actual godly form without it, time does not affect my body, and sometimes I feel like my trusty weapon is a limiter because gods never change, but without it, I am a mere ageless mortal, I can't perform my duties like this, the odd thing is that my sister Loki also went missing when my hammer was stolen.

Some said that Loki was the one to steal it, that can't be true, my sister would never do something like that, she can be rather mean, but she is still my little sister, more than likely she spotted the thief and is trying to get my war hammer back for me. I can't remain in Asgard so the only alternative is to go an visit, my good friend.

As I entered I saw every member of her pantheon had gathered to talk about something, it must be something important, even in my mortal form, I could feel the tension in the air, "Hephaestus what seems to trouble thy kin? I could sense the discord even as I entered this realm." She looked at me and glared at me, she must really be upset for her to do that.

"Just who are you to talk to me in such a familiar tone? Don't you have any manners when addressing a goddess?" What? My friend does not recognize me? I mean for crying out loud what do mortals call us, friends with benefits? That never made any sense to me, she does not recognize the man whom she spent so many evenings with?

"Thy words are a bitter poison, that I was not expecting from thee, it is I, Thor, the man who spent many an eve with thee, how cold is thy heart to welcome the man whom you proclaimed your love in such a manner."

She looked at me and then she began to look around, she grabbed me and pulled me to somewhere more private, "Speak, how do you know Thor and I spent any time alone in such a manner? Reveal a secret that one we would know."

This is getting ridiculous, here I am looking for the thief that stole my war hammer, and my friend, my occasional lover, does this? I know I don't look like I usually do, but this? Here I was thinking that losing my war hammer was the most tragic thing to happen to me and now this? What is next? People will forget all about me and stop their worship? My temples put to the torch? Even that is not as hurtful as this.

"You want a secret only we know, fine, if I am to be considered a mortal might as well speak as one, a secret, how about you were the only woman that has ever touched my war hammer, no that is too obvious since you are a blacksmith, how about the heart-shaped birthmark on your upper left buttocks? Or the fact that you actually trim your pubic hair?"

"How many times did I let you use my hammer to fix the weapons of your pantheon? Or how many times did we lay in your bed, after a night together to hear you say things like, it is no wonder you are a thunder god, you sure cause plenty of spark in my life?"

She finally stopped glaring at me, she gave me a hug, a hug that probably broke three ribs but at least that means she actually believes me, "Thor what happened to you? What happened to you? I couldn't even recognize you? Come on, follow me to my forge, there we can talk with a bit more privacy."

I followed her, "And maybe there you can give me both a reason for the tension I felt and probably something to heal these broken ribs that you just caused me." She laughed and I could not help but to shake my head at her as we both entered her forge, was it always this hot? Who knew that getting my war hammer stolen would have this much of an effect on me.

"So out with it? What happened to you?" I sat down drinking something for the pain and looked at her, "My war hammer was stolen in the middle of the night, I believe my sister Loki has gone on the hunt for the criminal, but it will not be simple since he could enter our domain. Now tell me what is this commotion I witnessed and the source of this tension?"

She looked at me and she smiled, "There is talk among those of our pantheon and many others that life has gotten to be rather boring, some might even call it stale, I don't have much of that since I had a wonderful lover and all, but since you are like that, we can't even do that anymore, if we did, I am liable to hurt you even worse than what I did to you with a hug."

I knew what she said to be true, you never know what you had till you lose it, here I am with my lover, and it is taking everything I have to simply stand the heat of her forge, I can't even spend an evening with her, I need to find my hammer and I have no clue where it is, I have called to it, several times, and nothing.

"Something seems to be blocking my hammer's ability to sense my summons, I need to find it, this form can not handle the changes it has to endure, my power has lost the limiter, and this body can only handle so much, I also require a means to earn a living, and since I can barely stand the heat of your forge, working here is not an option. Any suggestions that you may have for me?"

She laughed and after placing a kiss on my cheek she rested her head on my shoulder, "No need to worry lover boy, you can still go into a regenerative cocoon, I will look after it when you do, it might be a good chance for me to practice being a mother, and I might be able to see what you look like as a baby."

"The gods are thinking of going down to the realm of mortals live as they do, to live life with all the wonder and hardships they have, to seal away our godly power and experience life as they do. This works for both of us, I think the reason you can not summon your hammer is that it is somewhere it can not sense you."

"So here is what we will do, you will come down to the realm of mortals, you been there before many times, but this time, you will work with me and those that chose to accept me as their goddess, till you get used to that new form of yours, but honestly my bed is going to be a rather lonely place, so while you get used to this form of yours, I will send my followers to learn the location of your hammer, does that work for you oh love of my life?"

Why do goddesses love to tease? I see no alternative, and there is no one I trust more than I trust her, but if I use my actual name, people will ridicule me or worse they will try to accept me as their god, and in this form, I can't handle either.

"I will need a new name, I don't think I should use my actual name until I find my faithful hammer, only then can I retake my actual form. I need a name that is easy to remember, a rather common name."

She laughed and looked at me as she put her hands through my hair, "Well lover, your hair is as white as a rabbit's fur during winter, your eyes are more crimson than my hair, so why not something like, I don't know, how does Bell Cranel sound to you?"


	2. Chapter 2

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

Well my life certainly has changed quite a bit, I am poor, homeless, unemployed, with not even two valis to rub together, depending heavily on my lover, yes, this is certainly not the proudest moments of my life, I went from thunder god to gopher, but at least I am helping someone I love.

I am not kidding, I am doing chores, go get something from a place, bring it back, fix this, carry this, help her familia members do something, and last but not least help her get over the stress of some of the things her familia members do, that even I consider completely stupid, with copious amounts of sex. Alright, I am kidding, I really was just trying to think like a mortal, no my situation is not that depressing.

I do help Hephaestus with a few things when we are alone together, just like any good lover should, and I do give her a few massages and back rubs, I was not kidding about the stress my dearly beloved had to endure.

In the month that I lived in the city of Orario, I managed to make myself rather useful, and thus I managed to make quite the stable income, at times I work as a construction worker when parts of the city needs to be repaired or the city needs to expand, and I also met a person who used to be a member of my sister's familia.

Mia at one point was the best warrior in the Familia Freya made, nobody and I mean nobody would dare to call that lady frail, she had muscles that would make Balder look small, I am not kidding here, this lady is not the type of woman that would scream if she saw a rat running to hide behind a stove, no, she is the kind that would pick up the stove with one hand and use the other to beat the rat into paste with a skillet.

We came up with a rather convenient arrangement, every time something needed to be repaired, replaced, or some renovation needed to be done, well that was something I would take care of, and the valis she would pay someone else, would be used to invest in her business.

I could get a meal or two and I got to help Freya's Familia without her knowing about it. I am not going to deny that she was rather popular in our pantheon, goddess of love, beauty, and marriage if my memory is not failing me. I guess doing all that construction work around the city made taking care of one tavern seem like nothing at all.

The other thing I had going for me was that I made a good friend while going through the dungeon, for some reason the dungeon never recognized me as a deity, and because of who and what I am, I tend to be stronger than most mortals, so taking care of monsters on my two days off was something of a stress relief for me.

In one of those days I met a monster that loved a good fight as much as I did, and we soon became rather good friends and sparring partners, I kid you not, I could really let loose and fight to my heart's content, and she was rather happy to have someone to fight, we both got better at fighting and I guess a little stronger, most other monsters gave us both plenty of privacy and space to do our sparring.

Who would have thought that the first minatour I meet is a female and that we would become such good friends, Mirha fought with me and taught me to understand the language of monsters better than I already did, fighting and chatting, twice a week, every week. Hephaestus wanted to go into the dungeon to kill her after I told her where I was going, I called it our sparring day, she flat out called it dating.

"Honestly, we are friends, we both like to be able to fight and so do without holding back, and I do make a fair amount of valis getting to the fifth floor, so I don't see why you are so angry, I mean you know that I love you, right?" She hit her hammer hard on her anvil and turned around to look at me.

"Look Thor, you can say that, but you meet her twice per week, you even marked it on the calendar for crying out loud, you don't do that when we schedule our dates, but you do for this homewrecker that you meet twice a week, what woman would not be jealous of this?"

I told her that one that didn't trust her lover, trust is very important in a relationship, "Look, besides arguing about the none existent possibility of Mirha thinking our sparring matches are dates, I don't think you called me in here to just tell me how jealous and distrusting you feel because I meet a friend in the dungeon."

She finally dropped her hammer on a nearby work table and looked at me, "You are right, just can't help but think that she actually is going to try and steal you away from me, but you are right, I need a little help and you are the only one I trust enough to ask this, Hestia has finally decided to stop mooching off my familia and decided to form her own."

She walked over to me and I stopped using the fan kindle the flame of her forge telling me this was serious, "I need you to accept to become a part of her familia and help her without her knowing I asked you to do it. I know what you are going to say, why would you do this and not join my familia instead? Well for obvious reasons, you are already part of my life, so please help Hestia as a favor to me, pretty please."

Damn it, when she does that whole cutesy smile thing, she knows I can't refuse her, she knows it, and she decided to use that must mean Hestia really needs a lot of help. This also means that she is very worried about her.

I did not like the fact that I would pretty much have to give up sleeping with the lady I love, and in her rather comfortable bed, then again, relationships sometimes must make a few sacrifices to make their significant other happy, I guess I am no different, I still think I need to discuss this with my good friend, maybe a good sparring match would help me feel better.

As I killed every monster that dared to attack me, I can't help but wonder why would these monsters attack me like this, revenge for their fallen brethren? Instincts? No that can't be the real reason for that, as I walked the halls I have to admit, the first five floors are rather like a walk in the park, which apparently has plenty of pests.

As I walked over to the usual meeting place, there she is, Mirha, waving her hand at me. _"So you finally made it, it's not nice to keep a friend waiting you know. I was thinking that you were not going to show up!"_

My friend seems is also in a bad mood, _"Mirha, I don't need a guilt trip right now, you are in a bad mood for waiting, I am in a worse one for what I have to do. So come on, pick up that sword and help your friend blow off some steam, after learning what I will do, I definitely will need it."_

Like always she tossed me a blade and we began our sparring match, why does she always throw a dagger I will never know, maybe that is the only weapon she can spare. _"Come on, why in such a bad mood, you wouldn't keep secrets from a friend now would you?"_

I told her that my lover pretty much asked me to go out and help her friend's familia when she heard who the friend was, she really got mad, I mean really mad. For some reason my friend it seems she does not like to even hear the name of Hestia, the sparring match continued for a couple of hours till we finally decided to take a break, I ate the box lunch I got from the restaurant Mia is now running, the Hostess of Fertility, I swear that people think of something other than restaurant when they hear that name.

" _So you are going to have to help her, well I don't like it. If she can't get members to join her familia on her own, how in the world is she going to manage it? She obviously does not have the skills to have one in the first place."_

Yep, my friend sure does not like Hestia, not one bit, _"Or it is clear you are quite angry at the mere mention of her name, I haven't seen you that angry since the time you still tried fighting with a skirt on. I told you time and time again the corridors in this place can get quite the breeze, it's not my fault you ended up giving a horde of werewolves quite the eyeful."_

She punched me on my shoulder a little harder than usual, _"I wanted to look nice for once, instead of these dust encrusted horrors that I usually wear. You didn't even give me a compliment, some friend you are."_

As we finished eating out food and we talked about how we been since our last sparring match we continued the sparring for a couple of more hours and finally decided to call it a day, I swear that minatour has an impressive amount of stamina, she didn't look tired at all, she just picked up her sword and dagger and took off towards her home all the while whistling a happy tune.

Me, I can barely feel my feet, I went out of the dungeon and climbed up the stairs to the entrance, that is when it hit me, I am going to need to find a place to sleep while I search for the goddess that is causing Hephaestus so much trouble, she told me it should not be so difficult, look for a girl that is shorter than her, has raven hair, usually two pigtails, and had a pair of breasts that should be impossible for a girl her height and weight.

I was not going to go out in town like some degenerate to hunt down this person, so instead I decided to see if Mia was willing to let me sleep in one of the spare rooms she had, and maybe I would be able to ask her where to find the much talked about Hestia, I handed my crystals to a member of the Hephaestus familia and told him to bring my valis later when they eat at the restaurant Mia owned.

I don't care how many times I see this city, it will never match the bury of my homeland, that is what my first thought was when I began living here, now after a month, I sometimes see the beauty of this place, when I see children play, when I see happy families go about their days, when I see a couple begin the most dangerous and often painful adventure that I previously did not know, trying to be a good parent to their children, what a colossal task it is.

It makes me also feel sad that I will never be able to express to my mother, the sheer gratitude I feel for everything she did for me, and all the time she lovingly took care of me, the sight of a mother yelling and hitting a child for something the child clearly did not do, made me realize how fortunate my childhood had been.

I walked into the restaurant and sure enough there was nobody here yet, or maybe it was because part of the bar was broken cleanly in two pieces, I guess Mia punched the bar counter a little too hard again, as I said, she had tremendous strength, that will cause this sort of damage and for me to have plenty of work, is she doing this on purpose I wonder.

"Mia, sit down for a little bit, let me see how I can repair that." She really thinks this is funny? I saw her laughing as she sat down on one of the stools near the broken bar. "Some idiot came in here in the afternoon and called you a good for nothing, freeloader, well that made me so angry that I ended up punching the bar counter trying to scare the idiot into apologizing."

I looked at her and continued to work on the broken counter, "Well I guess he sort of predicted the future, it seems I need a place to stay for a few days, and I need to find someone, I just have no idea where am I going to find her, my lover asked me to help her friend, and all I got was a description and a name."

She saw that I finished working on the bar and began to slap me on my back, "You can stay in one of our spare rooms for as long as you need, don't think I forgot that you are also an investor in my humble little restaurant, as for finding someone, we get a lot of people here in the evenings, if you tell me who you are looking for I might be able to find out where that person is."


	3. Chapter 3

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

Two weeks, I am not kidding here, two weeks and I haven't found hide nor hair about this goddess, goddess of the hearth, architecture and home, funny that since I went looking for the supposed deity who's domain is and I quote homes, I haven't been in mine for two weeks, two weeks of not being able to see my lover.

I guess it is partially my fault, I wanted to find this goddess, help her out, so I could continue my search for my hammer, if it wasn't because I have a ton of work at the restaurant and the fact that my friend Mirha actually helps me release some of my stress, I may have gotten so upset that I might cause several buildings to collapse just to see if she actually shows up.

If I had my hammer, a few thunder blasts and I could make this entire city very much into a graveyard, that is how upset I am. Who knew that not being able to sleep with the woman I still very much love, would cause me to be this upset, goes to show, you never know what you had, till you lose it.

I went from familia to familia asking about Hestia, nobody had anything nice to say to me when I asked them a single question, have you seen Hestia around? That question caused so many of these people to flat out slam the door on my face, I think if I went around selling life insurance policies I would not get as many doors slammed shut on me.

I am beginning to wonder what could Hestia have done to these people to make them hate her this much? I could not figure why? That is when I looked at the shops and realized the reason, I was looking at the shop or one of the shops my lover's familia owned, and that is when it hit me, Hestia must have done the same thing she did to Hephaestus, she freeloaded of them so much that they never even want to hear her name.

I am supposed to help this? I used to feel pity for Hercules and his tasks after I heard about them, but seeing my task, this is much, much worse. If I find that Loki actually was the one that stole my war hammer, I will beat her to an inch of her life, I am not kidding, I sure hope my dear sister did not do this or so help me, all-father Odin, she will feel my wrath.

"Excuse me, young man, I could not help but find it odd that so many familia seem to not want you, so tell me, are you looking for a familia to join? I am asking since I am a rather lonely goddess asking in case you would be willing to join my familia, we could help each other and maybe we will be less lonely."

Just my rotten luck, just when I was about to give up she shows up and find me. I know this form of mine is not awe-inspiring by any stretch of the imagination, that once long ago I would have beaten those that dared to call me weak in a duel, but I better swallow my pride and do the favor my lover asked of me, if only for her sake.

"I have been actually looking for you, Goddess Hestia, I been told that you need aid and as such I was looking for you to be able to help you, you may call me Bell Carnel, if fortune smiles upon me and I regain that which was stolen you then may know what I should be called but can not for as long as my weapon and companion remains in the possession of the thief."

She must think I am joking, she began laughing, and laughing so hard that she was touching her abdomen, "Oh, I sure needed that, you wish to aid me, then I shall allow you to do so. Come, we need some privacy for me to bestow my blessing upon you, and for you to know the place I call my home."

I had no reason to deny this and so having accomplished one part of the favor my lover asked me, I followed her, walked down the alleys and abandoned building of Orario, this would make the current slums look like price dwellings, not exactly what you would expect from the goddess of architecture now is it?

The chapel was rundown, to call it a ruin would be a compliment, the furniture inside resemble a Catholic chapel, but it was abandoned long ago and the disrepair was clearly visible, the steeples were breaking apart and the once marble floor had cracks and holes that threaten to cause anyone who came inside to trip and fall down.

Down the hallway, where the priest would live was a single bed, and a couch, she told me to remove my shirt and lay on her bed, as I did, I felt a pain in my back, a pain that must be the so-called blessing, irony, a Greek goddess is blessing a Norse god and she does not even know it or acknowledge it. This must mean my divine power is so low that she does not see it.

"I have placed my blessing on you, from this day on, you are a member of my familia, my family, you may dress, and sit, we have much to discuss and since you wish to provide me aid, much for you to do."

I put on my shirt and looked at her, for some reason she was very happy, "Now you show know that the couch was you are sitting is also your bed, I am called many things, a goddess of the hearth, of architecture, but sadly I can not use my godly powers here on the land of my children, otherwise I could repair this place with a simple snap of my fingers."

"Since I can not repair this place, we must pay other to do so, and that means we need money, and that is one of the things that you will help me with, you will go into the dungeons to hunt down monsters for the magical crystals that is their hearts, you will not need to worry about anything else, this money will be to repair this chapel and grow our familia, but your food and needs shall be paid by me."

"I noticed that you are a skilled warrior, so I don't think that is too taxing of a task for you, why would the other familia not recognize this is something I failed to understand, the fools, their loss and my gain it seems. Now, do you have any questions for me Bell?"

If I had anything to say was about the deplorable sleeping arrangements, back when I was still in Asgard, the servants slept with better conditions than this. I can't help but feel like this is intentional like there is a trap hidden in this little scheme of hers, but I promised Hephaestus I would help her friend.

"As long as I am allowed to keep a bit for my daily needs, I see no problem with that. I also plan to make a room for myself once the repairs on the roof and rafters are completed, I need access to the outside without having the trouble of probably waking your goddess. I also believe you will feel more comfortable with you, being able to enjoy your privacy."

That is not the only reason, but no need to tell her what she does not need to know, I am not going to abandon my lover or my friend Mia, I need to be able to sneak out, to help her make repairs to her restaurant and probably get supplies for my lover, she always needs items that the monsters drop.

"Very considerate of you, I see no problem at all. The only problem I have is really a question, where do you think you are going?" I think it is pretty obvious, now that I received a blessing there are a few things I need to do. It doesn't help that today is the day I spar with my friend.

"I need to register my blessing with the Guild, I also am going to need to speak with someone, so that I am granted access to deeper levels of the dungeon. I also have to help a friend and meet another friend for our regular sparring match. So you see Goddess, I am rather busy."

She walked over to me, "And this sparring partner also happens to be a lady now, isn't she? Is there anything you would like to tell me about her, that as your goddess I should know about? Any nuptials I need to organize or any children that you two are planning to have?" I just met her today and she is already asking me this?

Well, I was planning to meet with Hephaestus, to tell her I was helping her friend, but sleeping with her in my current form would be difficult. Let's face it, at my current strength she could break me in half without even trying. I do remember she and I used to spend hours when we really got into it. Come to think of it, why didn't we end up having a few kids?

"I don't see why you would need to ask such a thing, you will understand once I return with today's earnings, have a little trust in me goddess, I will not do anything to dishonor your name, of that you can be sure of."

I began walking outside of the chapel and began to run towards the tower, I simply don't need this to get even more strange than it already is. I don't see why she is acting like a jealous housewife, I mean if anyone should behave like that is my lover and she never did. When I was in my true form, I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful Valkyries in our domain, my lover never acted like that.

As I killed the monsters on my way to my sparring match I considered how Hestia behaved, and no matter how many times I think of it, I consider it freaky, I picked my usual lunch box from the restaurant and told Mia I would be back later in the evening to take care of the repairs so she didn't need to worry.

I killed quite a few more monsters than usual, I can use lightning, but sadly only through myself or the weapons I hold, with the way things are I could have asked Hephaestus to make me a war hammer, but I don't want to ask her for something that would cause her trouble with her Famila members.

I ended up picking at the local shop a replacement long sword and a dagger, that is it. My sword broke when I sparred with Mirha last, I need to hurry if I know my friend she is going to be upset that I kept her waiting.

As I made it to the fifth floor I realized I forgot to go and meet with the guild to register, well I will meet them when I turn in my crystals for the day so I will take care of it then, _"You have any idea how long you kept me waiting?"_ I knew it, my friend is really upset, it can be easy to see just looking at how she is breathing and the look on her face.

" _Well today I finally got my blessing from a goddess, so I had to listen to the ground rules as it were, Do I need to remind you that you broke my sword the last time we sparred? I had to get a replacement. What exactly are you wearing? You look different."_

I swear she was blushing when I finished saying that, _"I am not wearing anything new, I just tried a different look with my hair that is all, and maybe a little touch up here and there. I may be a minotaur but I still want to look nice every once in a while."_

I told her that as long as she is not wearing a dress again, that was when she came at me broadsword swinging, I guess that really upset her, as our sparring match continued we kept making remarks at each other, honestly we behave like we been friends for years, she always gives me a nice workout and I know she is honorable.

As we fought for five hours we decided to take a break so we could have lunch, she, of course, brought her own, salad again, always salad, I have offered her some of my lunch but she flat out refused it, so I stopped offering.

" _You mean she acted like that and you just met her? I agree with you, that is freaky and that means something coming from me. The nerve of that goddess making you sleep on a lumpy sofa of all things. She is acting like she is your wife for crying out loud, and she sent her husband to sleep in the kennel."_

I looked at her and could see she was really upset, _"Now you understand why I was so late, well at least you made me feel better when you told me you too found her reaction to being as freaky as I found it to be."_

She finished her lunch and as it happens so did I, then again it wasn't what you call a large lunch, to begin with, some sandwiches, and some lemon tea, not that much. I took hold of my sword and we began sparring again, and just as I would expect two more hours and we called it a day.

I walked back up to the ground floor, again killing monsters as I went up, I swear there are even more monsters now that when I came down, I picked every item dropped and the crystals, these toad monsters are really annoying, they should know better than trying to catch me like I am a fly, a little lightning later and that toad was blown to pieces.

As I walked to the guild I went to the reception desk, I wonder why the men seem to work the counter where we turn in our crystals and drops and the ladies worked the reception desk, I was not aware the guild had any discriminatory practices, I guess it is personal preference, or at least I hope it is.

"Excuse me, I just received a blessing and I am here to register. Could anyone be so kind as to help me with this? I do have something to do after, so time is limited." Nobody came to help me, not a single one, now I was upset, did they think I was kidding around! I guess they don't think of me as someone they would classify as an adventurer.

"Well since nobody wants to register me, I guess I will just turn in my crystals and continue the way I have been, guess the guild does not want their fees." I walked over to the counter where I turn in my things and even the guy I was looking at didn't seem that interested.

I pulled out the drawer and placed in every crystal I obtained, I had to really put it in a clean and orderly fashion otherwise the drawer would not slide back to where the guy was still ignoring me.

As I slid the drawer he was still ignoring me, "Would you kindly look at the crystals I placed in the drawer, or I will find this an insult to my honor, and I might decide to duel you, and instead of doing your job we will be holding your funeral."

He didn't believe me but he finally looked at it, the look on his face was priceless, he looked at the number of crystals and then at me, and that was when I didn't even turn in the items the monsters dropped.


	4. Chapter 4

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

" **HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS MUCH! 40,000 VALIS HOW! YOU LOOK MAKE MY SON LOOK STRONG, SO HOW!"** I didn't need to hear anymore, I simply told him by killing monsters, how else would I get these crystals. I took my money and placed it in my pouch that was inside my leather vest.

I turned around to find a rather nice looking half-elf, she was standing in my way, "Excuse me young man but I am sorry to keep you waiting my name is Eina Tulle, it seems I just heard you say you went into the dungeon and we need to have a little discussion. Sorry that the others did not take you seriously, but you have to admit you don't exactly look like an adventurer, you look like someone's kid brother actually."

I went to sit down on one of the reception couches, and she sat on the one right in front of mine, business suit, a rather nice tie, the glasses on her look nice. "So you just obtained a blessing from a god, might tell me who is the deity that blessed you?" I guess this is part of the paperwork.

I didn't feel that happy with her tone, I told her that the goddess Hestia blessed me, she wrote that down, and then she asked me how deep did I go into the dungeon, I guess she is asking how deeply did I go today, I told her the fifth floor, nothing major. That is when she dropped her clipboard and stared at me.

"You just got your blessing and you got to the fifth floor! You say it like you just got done doing a chore for your mom, don't you know how dangerous it is down there?" I told her that it was not that much, some toads, a few kobolds, a dozen war shadows and a small pack of imps not that much.

She clearly was not taking this well, she kept looking at me with this shocked look on her face, it was doing her no favors I can tell you, "This is insane, most people when they get their blessing usually have trouble finishing the first floor, but you went to the fifth! That does it, I am going to be you dungeon advisor from now on. You have to report to me your progress and what you killed every time you turn in the crystals, no exceptions. You are liable to get yourself killed without my guidance and I don't need that in my conscious."

I told her that it would be fine, as long as it was not too much trouble, I even told her that I am not that easy to kill. "Very well, I need you to sign these papers, initial here, and don't forget the blood seal on the bottom of the page next to your signature."

Am I signing guild paperwork or signing away my soul to some demonic entity? I had little time and even less mood to argue, I did as instructed, "I hope we can get along from now on Bell, but do be more careful from now on. I will see you tomorrow. Just ask for me at the counter."

I was surprised she didn't ask me to take off my vest and shirt to show her my blessing on my back, guess that can be taken care off later, right now I have items to deliver to a shop that my lover owned, and help Mia with the repairs, and of course there will be things I need to repair, with her strength it was pretty much guaranteed.

I dropped the items and wouldn't you know it, Hephaestus was doing an inventory check, as soon as she saw me she pulled me into her office and slammed the door shut. I dropped the items on a small counter, but only managed to do that when she kissed my lips in a rather passionate way.

I am not going to complain about the kiss, I mean I haven't seen her in a while, and I am definitely enjoying holding her so close and kissing her like this, the only problem is that if she keeps rubbing herself against me like that, it will make me wish there was a bed here, cause she is definitely turning me on.

"So my lover finally decides to pay one of my shops a visit, too busy to spend time with your very lonely lover are we?" A kiss, I get to feel her body pressing against me, and now a guilt trip, could my day get any better?

"I was doing you that favor and I didn't find Hestia, not for lack of trying, she is not that easy to find, so she ended up finding me while I was looking for her. I joined her Familia and I will help your friend, hopefully, that will make things easier on you. You do not need to worry about me, you know full well that I would never cheat on you."

She finally sat down on her armchair and looked at me, "I can't help to worry with you using such shoddily made weapons, I keep telling you that I could easily let you use some of the stuff my Familia makes, it is almost like you don't consider my familia's weapons to be good enough for you."

I know she cares about me, and she does make the best weapons I ever held, except for Mjolnir, that war hammer was a gift from father, and became my most trusted companion in combat, and source of great comfort, I miss my friend immensely and without it, I am greatly lessened by the absence.

"I know you weapons are without a doubt the best Orario has or ever will see, I, however, can not accept them because I am to be yet another of the children of this world, or at least appear to be, in the economic situation that the Hestia Familia finds itself, it would be impossible for a mere beginner to be able to purchase even a dagger from this shop."

I pointed at the price tag and even she can tell that is more than a common citizen can make in their entire life if not several. 50 million Valis for a dagger, it is worth it I am sure, but no mere beginner could ever dream of purchasing something like that.

"I wish to speak with his man alone, leave us, what I have to say are for his ears only, spy or intrude on our conversation and I shall make the person who dares violate my privacy pay dearly for their acts." That was the cue for everyone in the shop to leave, running for dear life I would imagine, but the left rather calmly.

She walked over to me, and put her arms around me pulling me into a rather painful hug, "I don't care what other people think of you, I don't even care if they consider me giving you a weapon simple charity, you are my lover, have been for a long time, and in my heart you are my husband, and I love you as such."

I kissed her lightly and reminded her that my current form may be sturdy by it was far from immortal, and she was broke two of my ribs. She did let go of my body slightly, but not completely, I really need to find my faithful war hammer or there might be a time when I sleep with her, and she will end up tearing me in half.

"Why did you bring me those items, oh love of my life?" I told her it was simply items I knew her Familia would need to help beginner blacksmith practice their trade. She finally smiled or at least I could see her smiled, "You can bring me items taken from monsters in the dungeon and ask for nothing, but you are not willing to take weapons from the same shop you donate these items to? I don't like that."

She picked up the items, and she began to smile a smile I didn't like where this was going, "So you wanted to give these items for my Familia to use, well use them I shall, I will make for you a sword and a dagger, using nothing more than the items you were planning to give. If anyone dares to ask, I will simply say you provide materials for us, and I am giving you lessons in blacksmith skills as payment."

I admit that I did study to do basic repair work back in my home realm, basic weapon maintenance has always been a part of my daily studies, to be able to repair my armor or weapons was something I always felt was necessary, so much so that I asked Freya to tell the Valkyries that they should consider learning these skills, I never got a reply.

"Very well, if you are making me a sword and dagger, I shall bring you some leather on another day to help me make better armor, but only when we are alone, and nobody may know of this, honestly if I could take my godly form working on arms would be the least on my mind."

She laughed and smiled that sly smile I knew only too well, "Of that I am certain, if what was pressing against my thigh was any indication, I am glad that I still have that effect on you, I was worried that once you met my friend Hestia, you would be trying to sleep with her rather than with me."

Great, this is not what I needed to hear, I simply planned to do an act of kindness to show my lover I cared, and she instead been hiding the fact that she was jealous of her friend because we would have to sleep in such close proximity to each other. "Such a thought is uncalled for and not even possible, I love you, you love me, the mere idea that I would be unfaithful is ludicrous."

She sure didn't back away from me, "You say that but I will have you know that she is considered to be quite the beauty, and me, if I was not my friend, I would never ask you to do this, but I guess you finally found her, the smell of her favorite scent is all over you." Again with the accusations of being unfaithful.

She had to climb on my back to do the blessing, it would be strange that since it took her pretty long to finish that if she sent was not on me, "The blessing took longer than I expected and it was less comfortable than what I would wish. If I regain my hammer this blessing will no longer exist and who knows I might be able to start a Familia of my own, if Loki could I don't see why not."

I finally saw her smiling face, as I could also see her blushing cheeks, she leaned closer and gave me a kiss that reminded me of the last time we made love, why is she trying to make me remember something that both I really enjoyed, and because of what happened to me could no longer even attempt.

I kept kissing her back with as much strength and passion as I could muster, the kissing got hotter and more passionate and finally after what seemed an eternity, she broke off the kiss so that I could catch my breath, "I guess you speak truly if that kiss was any indication, sorry to doubt you, lover,, but I have heard of mortals here betraying their spouses on a whim, so I worried."

I guess I need to be more direct, I still remember how to touch her to make her understand, I pulled her close as she was about to step away and began touching her back, and slid my finger on a few choice pressure points. To say this was having the desired effect was clear to see from how she was breathing.

"Do you think I spent that much time learning about you, your body, your likes if I didn't love you? Hephaestus, maybe the banging of the tools in this place made you a little deaf, but hear me, there is only one woman in my heart and she is the one I am touching right now. Now at least we are even, I will see you tomorrow."

As I walked towards the exit and I turned around to wave goodbye, she pouted and gave me a little view of the top of her bra, damn it, I know I love her, but if she keeps this up I might just throw caution the winds of Nephilheim and just take her to her bedroom and just spend however long I can with her, just like we once could before this happened to me.

As I needed to blow off some steam I went back to the dungeon and sure enough this place never seems to run out of monsters for me to kill, no matter how many more I kill, they simply continue to come out of the walls of the very dungeon I was in, I was almost tempted to say the dungeon was alive, and these monsters were her children.

I broke fifteen swords, ten daggers, and I ended up killing the monster with my hands by the time I finally decided to go home, I was caked in so much dried blood that I pretty much would need to buy a spare set of armor just so that I could clean the one I was wearing. Funny thing about monster blood, it attracts monsters to you as if you were wearing a large dinner bell around your neck.

By the time I finally made it back, paying to purify the armor was out of the question, I simply went to a forge owned by my lover and either burned the leather parts or melted the metal into ingots and let them at the place they store such materials.

I was tired, sore, and hungry, I decided to go to the restaurant and have a meal, of course after I spent two hours getting yelled at by my advisor about me being reckless again, sometimes I think people are going to think we are married if this keeps up, because apparently every time I go to report my dungeon progress, it upsets her once again.

She actually took the crystals to the back of the exchange counter, they simply would not fit in the drawer they simply were that many. I, of course, bought the most economically smart choice when it came to the new set of armor, it was from the Hephaestus familiar, but it was made by apparently a not so well known blacksmith.

As I walked into the restaurant Mia owned I sat at my favorite place, the same seat by the bar, I was really not in a good mood at all, I simply asked Mia to give me one special, two mugs of mead and a side order of that lamb roast she was cooking at the moment.

I didn't know it was special so it was three special orders and two mead mugs, I ate and as I ate she finally finished filling the orders to look at me, "Why are you in such a bad mood? You look like your lover finally dumped you and blamed you for the reason for your failed romantic relationship."

"No, my lover is still very much in love with me, thank all father Odin for that small miracle, no I am simply tired from going to the dungeon and I pretty much ran out of swords and daggers on the way back, so that means I have to get up early tomorrow to go and buy replacements for the swords and daggers, they just kept breaking."

She laughed and said if weapons were unbreakable, blacksmiths would go out of business, so of course they break, you would need a weapon made by Hephaestus herself to have a weapon that does not break, the skill of a deity of blacksmiths.


	5. Chapter 5

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

Finally, I managed to find a price that was good enough to get replacements for every sword and dagger that broke the previous day, to say this was a good day for the new blacksmiths in the Hephaestus Familia, there were plenty of blacksmiths that were just beginning to practice their skills.

I guess since they are not well known the prices they ask for is pretty good. The chapel is looking less rundown, and Hestia was hesitant to let me attempt most of the repairs, but after I finished the attic and my room, I didn't hear any objections on me taking care of the other repairs.

It took me a grand total of three days, and after I got through I began to think it was a miracle the entire structure didn't collapse on itself sooner, the roof had more holes than aged cheese, and I had to work really hard to introduce something to the building that it never had before, indoor plumbing. I am not kidding, the place did not have a shower or toilet.

I had to make a new room for the bathroom, and a bathing area big enough so that Hestia would not complain about it. Three days of sweat aches and I got smellier and dirtier than I even got fighting monsters in the dungeon. After three days with a smell, that according to Hestia I could make pigs throw up, I got a chance to take a nice long bath.

Of course, I closed the door shut like it was a castle under siege, there is no way I am risking Hestia getting any ideas and trying to say that the bathing area was big enough for two. Granted I never told her that I was involved in a romantic relationship, or that the lady I loved was exactly the same lady whom she used to freeload off.

It is not an easy conversation, hey Hestia, I need to tell you that I am pretty much married to the Olympic goddess of the forge, yes, that Hephaestus, the one that people thought was a guy for Odin knows how long. See, not an easy subject to talk about, on the one side, she will demand that I tell her why couldn't she give me the blessing? And on the worst, she could demand that I break up with her.

How can I explain to her that I once was a Norse Deity, that my relationship with Hephaestus was so strong that I even managed to put up with the constant jokes and mockery from my sister and other members of our pantheon, and the only reason I was actually was looking for her was as a favor to the very goddess she used to depend on.

I think I would have less trouble explaining about the birds and bees to my two nephews and niece, well not my niece, since she is pretty much in charge of the frozen realm of the dead, and not my nephews because one lives in the bottom of the ocean, and the other is chained to the world tree as punishment for that prank, see not an easy topic to deal with.

As I finished my bath and got ready to sleep, meaning laying down bobby traps, wire and other defenses around my bed, and decided to finally be able to sleep. I don't know what it is about this bed or the pillow but the second my head touched it, I was asleep.

I kept dreaming that for some reason Freya was looking at me in a rather disturbing sort of way, come to think of it, Freya always hated the fact that I was actually dating someone seriously, oh well, this dream seems more like a nightmare, everywhere I go, there she is staring at me like a wolf glaring at prey, why is Freya in my dreams, and why must I endure this nightmare of her staring at me and chasing me all over the place like this?

So, of course, I wake up much like any normal person who has endured this kind of nightmare, screaming my head off and after beating my fist against the wall asking why do I keep having these nightmares? I went down the stairs and got dressed to go to the dungeon. Today is actually one of the days I meet my friend, so I am actually looking forward to my sparring match.

Well, the only good thing about the nightmares is that I am so furious, so absolutely enraged that I killed every monster that was dumb enough to try and attack me, I say dumb enough because some of them actually saw me and simply walked away if not ran away from where I was.

As soon as I made it to the fifth floor, I saw my friend, leather armor, pants, and a brand new sword, I wonder what is the occasion. _"Well you are looking rather nice Mirha, I know it's not your birthday, and there is no holiday this month, are you celebrating something? Come on, you wouldn't keep secrets from a friend."_

I looked at her face and she was in tears, I mean it, this minotaur that I spent so many times sparring against, my friend was crying. I guess she had nothing to celebrate at all, I put away my sword and walked over to her, I placed my hand on her shoulder and she just placed her head on my shoulder and began to sob.

She was my friend, so of course, the only thing I could do is offer her some emotional support, a few friendly pats on her back, as she just kept sobbing like she just found out her entire family was dead. It seems it took hours for her to finally calm down.

" _Thank you, I normally do not want to seem weak, especially in front of you, but after what happened today, I could not help but cry. It is good that you were here my most trusted and dear friend."_

I didn't like the sound of this, something horrible must have happened if she lost control of her emotions like this. _"You remember my brother don't you?"_ How could I forget, Fethros was a royal pain in my side for a whole week, he insisted that the sparring was nothing more than a sham, that I was actually sleeping with his sister and I was taking advantage of her.

It was only the fact that it would hurt my friend that I didn't kill the fool, now the idiot did something that made his own sister so miserable that she ends up like this. _"What did the fool do this time? Is he saying that he wants you to bear his child again? I swear that fool is sick, you are his sister, his actual sister, and the last time he told me he wanted to be the father of your child."_

She began to laugh and punched me on the shoulder a little harder than usual, _"No, he is not planning to be the father of his own nephew, he went to our father and with him arranged a marriage for me. I don't even know the guy who is going to be my husband. He did send me a letter telling me that my so-called sparring matches would end."_

I see that is why she was so sad, _"So I guess you will miss sparring as much as me, well I don't know what I can say about this, I know you told me arranged marriages were not that uncommon, but I also know that if he thinks he can force you to do anything, well you will be a widow rather quickly."_

 __Again she punched me on my shoulder, we began laughing and as she began to blush, she looked at me, _"You know this is all your fault, there is only one person who I would happily marry, guess I have to spell it out for you."_ The second that she was going to continue to say something, some idiot attacked her and cut her through her shoulder and her blood sprayed all over me. _"I always loved you."_

These were the words from my friend as an idiot killed her, she always was in love with me. All those times we were sparring she actually must have considered them to be dating, then again she always did seem to make an effort to look nice, but then again I always expect this from my friend, being such a lady as she is.

"Are you alright? Hmm, you don't seem injured, I guess I will get back to what I was doing." How the hell, how dare she, blonde short hair, blue eyes, but the thing that struck me was the Loki Familia emblem on her breastplate, her sword and that stupid expression on her face. I swear if she didn't leave when she left, I was planning to butcher that idiot.

My friend was dead, and somehow I know that her idiot brother will no doubt either think I killed her, or blame me for her death. Thousands of years and I still have no clue what women think, all this time, my sparring friend was in fact in love with me, me, I am not even her own species.

As I walked back to towards the first floor of the dungeon, I could not help but cry, the sadness of not ever being able to see my friend and the tragic way she died hit me like a ton of bricks, I simply could not contain my emotions, and I cried, every step of the way until I was out of the dungeon, I guess this is not so strange, I lost my best friend.

As I got to the door, however, I only felt rage, I ran through the streets, I needed to find the bitch that murdered my friend, and if I find her and I still feel the same way I was feeling at that moment, she was going to die. I was angry enough that I didn't care about anything at all, I don't care about what people are shouting at me.

Right now I could see this entire city burn down around me and the only thing that would matter is if that bitch was burned alive, that would only upset me that I didn't get the change to kill her with my own two hands.

As I made it to the building I knew I would find the answers I need, I finally began to calm down, alright I was still pretty angry but at least my bloodlust was mostly under control. **"EINA, I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT AINZ WALLENSTEIN!"** For some strange reason, she just looked at me running towards her and she screamed and dropped everything she was carrying, oh right, I am covered from head to toe with the blood of my dead friend.

After a shower, didn't know the guild building actually had working showers, I finally followed her and as she gave me a cup of tea, told me to sit on the sofa right in front of the armchair she was seating on.

The tea kettle was on a nice coffee table, and I was starting to calm down thanks to the tea, I really need to find out what in blazes is in this tea, if I could have Hestia drink a cup of this once a day my life would be ever so much better.

"So Bell, in less than one month, you made it to the fifth floor, survived a minotaur attack, and was rescued by none other than the Sword Princess of Orario, Ainz Wallenstein. Do I understand that correctly?"

I put down the cup on the table and looked at her, "Well, no, not really, first off I been going to the fifth floor since before I registered, second the minotaur was my regular sparring partner, and she was a good friend of mine, we met three times a week, you would have liked her she was really nice."

The look on her face told me she could not believe this was coming out of my mouth, "And Ainz did not as much as save me, as she murdered my best friend and sparring partner, so she did not rescue me, yes, I want to find her, lover her? Not if she was the last human on earth, no I don't want to meet her because some are big fans of her, and no I don't want to kill her, beat her to an inch of her life may be."

She finally took a cup and also decided to drink some tea, except she finished the entire cup in a single gulp, not very lady like behavior, but with me running through the streets covered in blood, I don't think I should criticize her on it.

"Bell, it is unheard off that a monster ever established a friendship between an adventurer and a full grown Minotaur, the Loki Familia is pretty much a Familia that is dedicated to in fact kill monsters, so don't be so hard on them for misunderstanding this, they probably didn't know that you were in no danger."

She looked at me and tried to smile, "So you didn't fall in love with her? I am told she is quite the beauty, golden hair, quite the figure, so no romance at all?" I told her that the only thing that came to mind at the moment that had the word love in it, was me thinking I would love to beat her to a bloody pulp.

"Well it is better this way, she is a member of the Loki Familia, who is lead by the goddess Loki, who by the way hates Hestia, the goddess that leads your Familia just as much or even more than what you appear to hate Ainz. So Bell what do you intend to do right now?"

After she pretty much told me that she literally could not tell me where the Loki Familia had their headquarters or tell me her address, for obvious reasons, I told her the first thing was me going to the Hostess of Fertility, get some food, and probably a lot of liquor, I had a lot of grieving to do.

"Bell, I know it is tragic to lose a friend, even if said friend is not what I would expect, but think of it another way, you will always have the memories you made with each other, I think your friend would want you to grow stronger, since she was your sparring partner."

I told her as I left that her brother would probably blame me for this, and would want to kill me, so yes, thanks to Ainz I had no other choice than to grow stronger since the most powerful Minotaur of the entire dungeon was going to try and kill me. Never mind that he just happens to be the brother of the very friend I just saw being murdered by Ainz in the first place.

As I made it into the restaurant I walked towards my usual seat, one that some idiot was sitting on, I made a hand sign and he understood, I was in no mood for bullshit, and if he messed with me, I would really make a mess out of him.

"So Bell what gives? You are usually this ray of sunshine, what is the matter?" I looked up and saw the smiling face of Mia, "Mia, I just saw a friend of mine being killed, I need food and liquor, both I know you can provide."

She laughed and brought me what she called the funeral special, I am not kidding, the lady has a few options with she called special menu options and that happens to be one of them. I guess with people going into the dungeon as they do, people feeling like I do is not that rare, so much so she even had something on the menu in regards to it.

I was eating my food and drinking like there was no tomorrow when one of the waitresses decided to sit right next to me to keep me company, either that, or she sat right next to me to keep me from killing any idiot trying to steal anything that I was eating or drinking.

That is when a group of the Loki Familia just happened to walk into the bar, I am not kidding, one of the waitresses pretty much screamed that who they were and the fact that they were regular customers. As I turned to look towards the group I saw the one person I needed to find, Ainz "I butchered your friend" Wallenstein.

Normally I would not think so badly of her, had she left my friend alone I would have nothing bad to say about her, but she didn't and I got the surprise of a lifetime the second she did, my sparring partner, my friend pretty much confessed to me that she had been in love with me the entire time as she died in front of me. This would sour anyone's opinion of her.

I did not want to cause a scene so I kept quiet and decided to simply eat my food. **"COME ON AINZ, TELL US AGAIN ABOUT THE TOMATO FREAK, YOU KNOW THE ONE THAT RAN AWAY FROM YOU CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BABY!"**

" **GET THIS GUYS, AINZ SAVES THIS TOMATO FREAK, YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH THE WHITE HAIR THAT MAKES PEOPLE COMPARE HIM TO A WEAK ASS BUNNY? WHAT DOES THE FREAK DO? HE RUNS AWAY CRYING HIS EYES OUT, HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO THANK THE WOMAN THAT JUST SAVED HIS WORTHLESS LIFE, ISN'T THAT JUST PATHETIC?"**

Correction, I was trying to eat my dinner when I hear that mutt scream that about me, well I finished my meal, I will take care of the repairs later, but right now I need to set the record straight.

"Bete it was not his fault, that minotaur must have been one that escaped us from the fifteen floors, there is no way a guy like him could take on a monster from that level." Ok, now the elf joins in insulting me, great, I really need to talk to these people. The fact that Loki was laughing her head off did not help to make me want to show any mercy.


	6. Chapter 6

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

I walked up to them and looked at Mia who looked worried, I told her I would take care of it, she understood and continued to serve drinks at the bar. As soon as I was getting close to the table where they were eating the idiot stood up and looked at me with this goofy look on his face.

" **Well here is the stupid tomato looking rabbit we were talking about, came here to grovel and thank your savior for saving your worthless life?"** Before I was just going to set the record straight now I was fuming mad.

As I got close to the group, "Loki, you better put a leash on your mutt, or so help me, Odin, I will put him down for good. Now let's get a few things straight, that minotaur was not one of the ones you imbeciles were hunting, she was my good friend and sparring partner, we met three times a week."

I saw the look of shock on some of their faces and the quiet told me I could continue, "So in truth you bunch of morons, I was in no danger at all." I looked at Ainz and glared at her, "In truth, this bitch killed my good friend and insulted me, so I got nothing to be grateful for if anything she should be grateful that I don't slaughter her the second I met her."

"My friend was the youngest child of the minotaur elder, once he hears that someone killed his child, blood will flow through the dungeon-like never before, so if you want to keep your little merry band you better teach them some manners Loki, or I will, and the only difference is you will be burying them after I get through with them."

The idiot looked at me and I could hear him growling, big frigging deal, "You better learn to respect your betters you worthless, good for nothing fool, we each are higher level than you are, you should beg us to forgive you for daring to tell such lies!"

I walked over to Loki and made a hand sign for her to follow me so that we might speak privately, it was a sign she would know well since it was a sign we agreed upon long ago back in our heavenly realm.

"Alright, how do you know the sign that my brother developed, talk fast, cause I don't have much time to waste on a lying, disrespectful little jerk like you." I looked at her and walked over to her so that I was standing right in front of her, she sure has not changed much since last I saw her.

"How easy you forget my little sister, did you forget your vow as well? I wouldn't be surprised you seem to be having such a good time playing with your Familia, you swore that you would find my war hammer till the ice of Niflheim melted, do you remember me now? Or is my diminished form too much for you to realize who you are talking to."

She stood close enough to sniff around me and that is when she sat down with this stunned look on her face. "Thor? I could barely recognize you. Wait why are you even here? How can you even enter the dungeon the gods and goddesses are forbidden from entering the dungeon."

"How can I enter? My power has diminished and my divinity is gone since my hammer was stolen, Why am I here? Since you decided to take your sweet time having fun, I decided that I needed to find my war hammer since you clearly broke your vow to me, and I also came to help my lover, you know the one from the Greek pantheon, the blacksmith I told you about."

She was sitting down and looking at me from head to toe, "I had no idea that losing your war hammer would cause this to you, no wonder you are in such a bad mood, let me guess you haven't been able to sleep with your lover since Mjolnir was stolen, have you?"

She knows far too damn well that is the case, "You know that is true, with me diminished as I am she would end up breaking every bone in my body, I would then have to wait till my body healed for me to continue my search for my godly weapon. Now you better control that mutt and keep your Familia from insulting me, or you will have to mourn their passing. You know I do not take insults lightly."

She finally stood up and began to smile at me, "But that would be a counterproductive big brother, I formed this Familia to explore the dungeon, I believe your hammer is somewhere in that dungeon, and since I can not enter, I need my Familia to search in my place. Sorry that my favorite killed your friend, but it should really be no surprise, after all, we have to kill monsters, you killed them too."

I hate it when Loki of all people actually makes sense, "Alright, I will not kill her or your precious little Familia, but they have to lay off the jokes, ridicule, and name calling alright? And you better keep them from finding out my true name. I don't have time to deal with the questions your little band of trolls will ask me constantly, deal?"

She smiled and with a handshake, she said deal. "So how long have you been without being able to sleep with your lover? Just asking out of sheer concern for your well being." I didn't even need to hear this, I really didn't want to be asked by my sister how long has it been since I last spent the night with Hephaestus.

I know her, she is my sister, she will keep bugging me about this till I answer, "Seven years, ten months, twelve days, eighteen hours, twenty minutes, and forty-eight seconds. Do I miss it? I don't know, how much do you wish that people stop comparing your chest with the one Hestia has?"

She did not look happy after that last comment, "That bad huh? Why don't you find yourself a nice sturdy substitute? You know that elf waitress looks like she could give you quite the ride, she may look like a maiden, but that woman must be close to three hundred years old."

I didn't like that comment one bit, and I know if Ryuu heard her, she would be bathing in whatever drinks she was carrying. "You better home Hephaestus doesn't hear you say that, or you better learn to make your own weapons, cause she will blackball you and never sell you a thing again."

That is when she finally decided to calm down, "You are right, she would do that. So you won't cheat on her, and I should not suggest it, so what is the alternative? Blue balls till you find your hammer or until I do? No wonder you sound so cranky, grouchy, frosty."

I looked at her and couldn't help but to glare at her, "Look, I don't need to hear that from someone who can say his mother is a frigid frost giant, alright? Speaking of which when was the last time you visited mom?"

She didn't even blink when she said seven hundred and fifty years, "She keeps bugging me that I should find myself a man, get married, and give her a few grandchildren, she is dead, and she still wants me to get married, and have a few kids."

"So what happened to Fenrir, Jormungad, and Hel? Come to think of it, I haven't heard from them in quite a long time." She was now the one upset, she threw a glass at me, I, of course, cached it, poured myself some mead and took a sip.

"Fenrir is busy being a guardian, Jormungad is busy with his garden which you by the way nearly destroyed a couple of times, and he still angry with you, and Hel is upset because you flat out told her you would never even consider dating her, much less making her wish come true of becoming your wife. So, of course, they are not in a hurry to come and visit their uncle any time soon."

"Do I need to remind you mother denied them the right to be considered part of our family, just because they were born from me having a one night stand with three men, I had three one night stands and I am the one she treated like I committed a sin, you sleep with that Greek blacksmith of yours, and what does she say? I can't wait to go to their wedding."

Well, I can't exactly blame mom, we both were born from one night stands my father had with two giants, and the fact she is worshipped as the goddess of marriage is not going to help matters when he did it while he was cheating on her.

"I can't even make love with her, love her too much to cheat, and you know how our mother feels about infidelity, I don't think this city would like it when our mother sends a flaming rock crashing down on me as my punishment for such impudence. So rein in the comments of your Familia, and I will do my best to control my rage."

She finally sat down next to me and placed her hand on my shoulder, "I know this situation is hardly what I would call pleasant, but do sheer up brother, I and my Familia we are doing our best to search the dungeon for your weapon, the way the dungeon been getting worse as of late means that your presence is causing a reaction from your hammer. My suspicions turned out to be true again."

That is when Bete and Ainz finally decided to see what I was doing to their patron goddess, the fact that she was sitting next to me, smiling and with her hand on my shoulder did not escape their notice, it was obvious from the looks they had on their faces.

"So Goddess, mind telling me why did you decide to talk privately with this jerk? He bears the emblem of the Hestia Familia, we shouldn't even waste our time with this thing." I sure hope my sister can say something or be ready to replace two idiots, cause I was getting angry, really angry, they really should be careful, they don't want to see me when I am really mad."

She laughed and took a sip of her mug of mead, and told me to drink up, "Oh you mean Bell Carnel here? You might now realize this but Belle is what you may call a monster tamer, he goes to the dungeon regularly, especially with Monsterphilia coming up soon. As for why I wanted to talk with him and defuse the disaster you caused by badmouthing him, spreading slander, and basically insulting him, well the truth is I love him like a brother."

They finally put two and two together or so I hope, "So when he said he was sparring with a minotaur, the Minotaur I killed, it was a monster he was especially training to fight with him during Monsterphilia?" She smiled and nodded her head, "And that is why he was not in any danger and why he was upset you killed that minotaur who he considers his friend since they were both going to participate in Monsterphilia as a team."

I decided to go along with her explanation, "And because Ainz killed her, I will not have time enough to train and befriend another monster, so thanks to her I will not be able to participate this year. I was really looking forward to getting the top prize this year. We worked really hard to get ready, and then this happens."

Loki begins to pat my shoulder, "Oh, don't you worry bro, there is always next year. So Bete I would be very angry if I heard that you were talking smack about my brother, and believe me I will know, you don't want to be on latrine duty again for the next couple of years now do you?"

That is when the werewolf fool turned pale and began to beg me to forgive him, no I am not kidding, he begged like his life depended on it, which I couldn't help it but I found the contrast on how he behaved before and now rather funny.

"Well it was wonderful to see you again, but unlike you sis, I got to go home, and prepare to earn a living, unlike you, my Familia only has one person that can go into the dungeons and that is me."

Ainz began to follow behind me till I reached the entrance to the restaurant, I was not expecting her to shadow me on my way out. "Loki explained everything, Bete apologized for his rudeness, and my sister explained that you according to her acted out of mercy and concern, doesn't mean I am not angry, but I understand."

She stopped and let out this long sigh of relief I would imagine, "I am sorry that I ruined your chances to participate in Monsterphilia this year, as a means for me to apologize I would like to offer that I can enter Monsterphilia with you, that way you can still participate, and we can as people say bury the hatchet."

Again I was not expecting her to say something like this, I could have told her that as long as I chose where to bury the hatchet and no one bothered me afterward, but I simply couldn't mother did not raise me to be like that, if Loki can be reasonable how could I not do the same?

"I will consider it, but chances are that the register is already full, as much as I hate to admit it, Ganesha does have quite a crowd for this tournament, and the prices are nothing to sneeze at, the first price is a weapon or armor made by Hephaestus herself. To say that is worth a fortune is an understatement."

As I paid for my meal, even if I didn't have to, I left the restaurant, and I began thinking about how my life would be different if my war hammer had not been stolen. I would still be able to use my powers, my strength and divinity intact, I would have ended up making a Familia of my own, a Familia that could help Hephaestus and hers, I could throw caution to the wind and live with her as a married couple, not caring if someone talk about it, days with us working together, followed by passionate night as we lay on our bed.

Smiling as I saw my Familia members get stronger, achieve great feats in the dungeon, feeling proud as I went to each monthly meeting, and my children would obtain titles to reflect their prowess. Yes, that would have been a wonderful life, all stolen by that unhanded thief.

As I made it back to the chapel, I climbed the long stairs to the attic, I did not care to get out of my clothes I just fell on my bed and began to sleep. The dream began with my lover and me in bed, talking about our children and ended with me watching as several goddesses argued with each other that they each wanted to get a taste of what she got to enjoy on the regular basis, and why each was more worthy than the other, a nightmare to be sure.

I woke up in cold sweats, my skin felt like I went off swimming in a frozen lake, the taste of my blood was in my mouth. I got up from my bed, got dressed in my armor and decided to go to Mia's place for some breakfast.

The walk was calm, I pity the idiot that tries to pickpocket me right now, and I got there I found a person waiting for me outside of the restaurant with two box lunches, I think she is a waitress that works for Mia, why is she waiting outside like that.

As soon as I was near she smiled and came running towards me, "You must be Bell, Mama Mia told me to wait for you, it seems that we need to clean the place and so the restaurant will be closed off for today, she did say you might come by to eat so she told us to prepare you two boxed lunches and she told me to wait for me to give them to you."

Well, this was rather unexpected and nice of Mia to do, she never did something like this before. It just hit me that I never even knew what most of the waitresses names are, I know Ryuu since she was with Mia since the beginning of the restaurant, but who is this person? And why does she look like she was the one waiting for me since she is the one that made the food she pretends to be told to give me.

"Well you can tell Mia, that I can simply eat something inside the dungeon, nothing to worry about, just tell her that Bell Carnel will be fine and be sure to leave the repair work to me since I will be back by the evening to take care of it."

That made her seemed a little shocked at first, "Alright, nobody told me to wait, it just that I feel sorry that you might not be able to eat before going to that awful place, fighting monsters on an empty stomach is not a good idea, please take this food, and my name is Syr."

She blushed and just as soon as she placed the food in my hand, she ran inside giggling while she did it. Honestly I don't know what is wrong with that girl, I have a lover, and I am in a committed relationship, I will explain the situation to the poor girl later as I repair things, I don't expect she will take the conversation well, or believe me, but honor dictates I should do no less.


	7. Chapter 7

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

What was that old song back in the saddle again, well here I am killing monsters by the proverbial ton, and getting more crystals than items, well that means I will not get to visit Hephaestus anytime today, darn it, if I had my hammer, this would not be an issue, then again if I did, I couldn't very well be in here now could I?

I just know her stupid brother is going to sulk for a bit, then get mad as Hades, a then he will more than likely train to one day try and kill me, because even if I didn't kill my friend he will blame me for it or say that I didn't exactly stop the one that killed her, so in his eyes I am guilty either way.

That is why she wore those clothes as she did, that is why she always wore scents from flowers that grow in the dungeon, and that is why she always insisted to have a meal with me, I lived for thousands of years, had quite a few human lovers before I started to date Hephaestus, and even now I have to admit, the mind of a woman is still a mystery to me.

All those sparring matches I thought she was just getting stronger to be able to attract a mate, and have some Minotaur babies, well, in part I was right, she did want to settle down and start a family, but I had no clue that she actually wanted me to be the father of her children. I considered our meetings as two friend sparring, to help each other become better and stronger, call me nuts, but I think my friend actually called them dates.

The rage I felt at myself for my own blindness and stupidly, the absolute hatred I felt when those idiots talked, it just piled and I really needed to come down to the dungeon to blow off some steam, and I think most of the monsters before I killed them wished I had found another way to blow off said steam.

"How long are you going to keep following me! Don't you have somewhere you need to be Ainz Wallenstein? I would think earning some money to pay off the tab your goddess had in the restaurant your little Familia loves to eat at is something you should be doing, instead of following me."

She finally came out of hiding and was looking at me, "Look, I am sorry, and I am being honest, if you wish to participate in Monsterphilia, I can help you do that." For crying out loud, she is following me around for that? Does she not understand that no matter how she apologized the outcome would not change.

"In case you did not listen, the time to enter that is already passed, there is no way for anyone, and I mean anyone to enter that since all the spots have been filled. Not even Ganesha himself could or would make an exception on this, it would be unfair to those that registered on time. Ganesha is a person that would never do that. He is a man that loves to make people happy."

I continued to kill monsters, monsters she probably could kill them as easily as I did, and found this entire situation boring, I know I would. "I am registered to participate, and you can come with me. I was planning to fight by myself, to test my abilities against the monsters of the tournament. Like I said I can help you enter Monsterphilia, you can still participate in the tournament."

Yea, that sounds wonderful, truly a considerate thing to do especially after what she did, except for two little problems, I still very much hate her guts, and I have not even the slimmest chance of ever considering to trust her, she killed my friend does she really think that is nothing?

"Well that is nice of you to say, but you will have to excuse me, I still have a whole bunch of monsters to kill. Your Familia might not need the money, good to be stinking rich it seems, but me, I got a lot of things to do, a chapel to repair, equipment to get replaced, and I need to train, for I know my friend's brother will come after me."

She kept following me as I killed one monster after another, she was liable to get me to kill me. "I am not going to forget this anytime soon, this was one of my oldest friends I made when I first truly began to live on Orario. You are a member of Loki's Familia and so for her, I will forgive you."

She finally smiled for a little bit before she left me to do what I been trying to do, to earn valis so that I could keep the Hestia Familia afloat. Honestly, why was I forgiving her that important to her in the first place?

I killed a massive amount of monsters as soon as I could stop holding back, meaning as soon as Ainz actually left. Some would say why bother? I say I try to keep my actual strength a secret in case we end up having to compete against each other, considering the number of Familia in Orario, that could very well end up being a possibility.

I delivered the crystals to the counter and got my money, and I was about ready to leave when I saw Eina giving me a look that we need to talk. Meaning I need to listen and she needs to give me a lecture about something. I know she is officially my dungeon adviser, but I guess she has not figured out that I am quite older than she is.

"Bell it has been made known to me by Ainz that you forgave her for what she did to you, that is something I must say took me by surprise, I think that is a very considerate thing to do. It will make working as your adviser that much easier on me, so on my behalf, I thank you for this show of kindness."

She was looking through the folder next to her, "I also see here that you are going alone into the dungeon, the deeper you go, you would do well to add a few members to your dungeon exploration team. There is such a thing as strength in numbers after all. I would, however, advise you to be careful of the members of the Soma Familia."

I guess mentioning that Soma and I used to be old drinking buddies is something I should really keep to myself. You have one sex crazed obsessive woman in your life and see if that doesn't drive you to drink. Thankfully there was always mead available and since I met Hephaestus I didn't drink as much. Something about my breath and her working near a giant forge comes to mind.

"I will take this under advisement Eina, nice to see that you care. I, however, know a little bit about Soma, so I think that if one of his familia members actually is a member who is in trouble, I would feel that as long as that person is honest I would need to help that person out of her situation. I could not abandon someone like that."

She looked at me and began to look at me with this look of concern on her face. "Why? Why would you go out of your way for a member of the Soma Familia? What could compel you to do that? All the members of that Familia I ever met had been obsessed with making as much money as they can, they will even betray other people to get money and fast."

I again had to remind myself need to keep the real reason secret, it gets tough to do with someone as caring as Eina. "Well you might have Loki is sort of like my Aunt, much like that Soma is an old friend of my family. The guy drinks and brews drinks like there are no tomorrow, but if you met him when he is solver he is a very supportive and helpful friend, and let's face it, there is no better person to ask what kind of wine is best to have on a dinner date."

She began laughing, she laughed so hard her clipboard came crashing on the ground, I don't see why that is funny? I am quite honest the guy is a rather nice and helpful guy.

Well since this was pretty much the end of my discussion with her, I told her I would see her again at a later date, as I walked away she was still laughing like she heard the single best joke in her entire life.

As I reached the chapel that Hestia and I both pretty much consider home I was greeted by Hestia, and boy she looked like she was furious for some reason. "Bell, how long has it been since we last checked your status?" I don't know maybe four days, it really doesn't seem like it should be something that important.

I mean I know I am still having quite the easy time during my time hunting in the dungeon, compared to that time I fought the sentient armor so aptly called the destroyer, this dungeon so far has been a stroll through a flowery meadow.

"Honestly about four days or so, why? I know you are rather busy since you are doing all those part-time jobs. I thought that it would be inconsiderate of me to mention something like this when you clearly are tired."

She grabbed hold of me and dragged me towards the stairs that lead to her room. I was pretty much forced to go down the stairs into what I consider her bedroom. As soon as I got to the room, she told me to take clothes off, alright I am being nice, she demanded that I disrobed immediately or suffer her wrath should I fail to heed her order.

I began to take my armor off, my chain link mail, and my undershirt off, all the time beginning to wonder how would she smite me? I mean she is the Olympian goddess of Architecture, was she going to make a house up in the air and tossed at me? I honestly don't think she actually realizes that I am no mere mortal even in my weakened form.

"Checking the status of a familiar member allows a god or goddess to both updates you pack and see how you are doing, but also depending on your new growth, allow a familia member to become stronger. It should be done at least once a week, but you haven't allowed me to do it in so long, I forgot if we ever have done this before."

From the way I was feeling her touch does this include a beating, cause for some odd reason she was beating her fist against my back.

"Goddess is there some reason you are angry with me?" She immediately stopped beating her fist against my back as soon as I mentioned this. "No reason, I thought that you looked a little tense, I was trying to give you a back massage that is all."

Back massage my foot, Attila the Hun probably would be gentler than her. "I appreciate it the sentiment but I am fine. Well are you done checking my status, cause believes it or not, I have been told that I might need to find a supporter for my dungeon exploration team." She slapped a piece of parchment on my back and felt a finger drawing a circle on that parchment.

"And why would you need anyone else Bell? I mean you have been doing alright on your own." I pretty much told her that in order for me to go into deeper levels of the dungeon I would need at least one more member to my team, strength in numbers or so was the impression I got from my dungeon exploration adviser.

"So the one to subject that you add a member to your team was none other than that half-elf, I guess you really don't have much of a choice since you need her approval to even enter lower level dungeons, I understand but that does not mean I am happy about it."

I told her that I actually needed to go deeper in the dungeons, I went further and told her it would also help the Familia in order to improve the chapel, and maybe even be able to buy weapons and armor that was more durable. "The Hephaestus Familia do make some rather good weapons and armor but it can be said their merchandise is expensive."

Who am I kidding they are the best, but if I told her that she might figure out my relationship with Hephaestus, and she made it clear that she did not want Hestia to know she asked me to help her. Something that always bothered me truth is told, but I understood my lover's reasons. She knows if she knew the truth she would no longer trust me for one and her pride would cause her to do something reckless.

Gods and goddesses are supposed to be these beings that embody perfection, but I know better, we do have our flaws some easier to see and identify and some others that we keep hidden, even to ourselves. I guess this is partially why we have been able to get along with the children of the lower world, because in some way deep down we are similar.

"I do trust you Bell, it's just that some other woman might want to steal you away for herself, remember you promised to never abandon me, never leave me alone, that you would always help me."

I remember that night, she was scared and was a crying mess when I made that promise to her, it was the only way I knew to calm her down, she was liable to cause herself harm had I not done that, when I told my lover she actually found it rather hilarious. She said that I treated her like she was my daughter.

"Don't worry Goddess Hestia, I remember, I will help you and the Familia as best I can, for as long as I am Bell Carnel." She laughed as she began to seriously look at the parchment that had my updated information on it, for some odd reason she was not happy about it, in fact, she was mad. I guess my growth was too little for her liking.

I went up the stairs and into my room, I was tired, I simply fell down on my bed and did not bother taking the rest of my clothes or armor off.

The next morning I went towards the dungeon I hope that if I got there early I could find someone reliable to be a supporter for me. It was not that difficult to find, find a person who is capable of carrying a load several times their body weight, or at least that is what it looks to me as I watched five supporters go with dungeon teams.

I finally decided to sit down on the edge of a fountain thinking that I simply was out of luck. "Excuse me,, young man, you look to be like an adventurer, I hate to bother you but I am just a poor supporter asking if you would like to work with me exploring the dungeon."

I just straighten my posture and looked at her, a young lady that was much smaller than me, funny enough she looked like a prune, really nice figure for someone from that race but still a prune. "Are you sure you want to go into the dungeon with me? I know that prunes can be stronger than they look, but you know it is dangerous right?"

She took down her hood and for some reason, I was shocked to see what I saw, "First I been in the dungeon plenty of times so you don't need to worry about me, it is rather considerate but not necessary. Second, I am not a prune, I am a beast person thank you. So can we work together or do I need to ask someone else."

I guess I really need to be more sensitive to the different races in Orario, "Sure thing, I am Bell Carnel, what is your name miss?" She laughed and said to simply call her Lily, and now that introductions are over, we needed to figure how we would divide the gains from our dungeon work.

I told her it was really simple we split the gains evenly, 50/50. For a second there she looked at me with this really shocked look on her face, I guess this means nobody ever told her this before.

"So come on Lily, we are wasting time, you don't, believe me, I guess actions speak louder to you." I went towards the dungeon. I took hold of my sword and as we went down the levels of the dungeon Lily picked up all the crystals and random items, I really could focus on killing monsters and she could carry way more items and crystals that I ever could on my own.

"So Master Bell, how low have you been in the dungeon? Just asking as a point of reference here." I killed another killer ant and looked at her, told her I made it to the seventh floor so far with her help I might even make it to lower floors, for some reason she became rather quiet as I killed a few more killer ants. I am certainly not running out of these monsters, oh right, a killer ant cries to call more of its kind before they die.

"Just that you seem to go through daggers and swords quite fast, I mean I am not expecting you to have Hephaestus Familia gear and still be killing random monsters at this level, but why don't you buy better gear?"

I told her I needed the money to help remodel the place my Familia lives, I also don't have enough to buy one of the high-end weapons or armors only to have it brake anyways. In short, she called me frugal which just translated to me that she called me cheap.

"I wouldn't worry too much Lily, I mean I have been able to wrestle a minotaur with my bare hands so even if I run out of weapons I can make out of this place just fine. So how about we clear out a few dozen more levels and go home, I still have quite a few things to take care off."

I swear she was glaring at me when I finished saying that. "Like what?" I was not expecting her to ask me for details go figure.

"Well I have to get more weapons, continue to renovate the chapel that the Familia I am a part of pretty much calls home, and someone offered to be a part of her team on monsterphilia, so I really should sleep well, tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Since we are doing extra levels I figure you will have more than enough to take tomorrow off."


	8. Chapter 8

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

Well, I got to say the look of utter shock on Lily's face was both amazing and painful. I told her we would divide the day's take by half. "Honestly Lily, why are you so surprised that I actually keep my word? I told you we would each take half, it is almost like you thought I was going to tell you to scram and take all of it for myself."

She took a drink from her mug and looked at me, "Well you can bet that is exactly what I was thinking, instead you gave me what we agreed on, and even invited me to this restaurant to have a meal to celebrate what did you call it, to celebrate the beginning of a wonderful partnership."

I had no reason to deny it, "I only managed to get as much done thanks to you, so I like to show my gratitude to people that help me. For the last time, you are not paying for your meal, I already paid for it."

She looked at me and couldn't help but to feel that there is a question in her mind. "So Bell, mind telling me how strong you are? Or are you going to show me your stats." I nearly choked when she said that, my stats are recorded on my back, so basically to show her my stats pretty much means she was telling me to strip.

I am only grateful Hephaestus is not here if she heard her telling me that, we would be picking pieces of her from the walls. My lover is nice, sweet and tender, but if you got her really mad, well let's just say I still had my hammer when we last argued and let's just say that at my full power I was still sore for a really long time.

"I am Class S on every stat Lily, and you should really consider where you ask a guy to strip. I mean is not like I am telling you to do that am I?" She laughed and said that she would show me her stats anytime and anywhere, I only needed to work up the nerve and ask. Alright, it is official, I hope she is only saying that because she is drunk.

Who am I kidding? She is a child of the Soma Familia, the stuff we are drinking might as well be water. "So Bell I guess after we finish our meal, you will go off to your home. You told me you were going to monsterphilia tomorrow, so in case I don't manage to get in to see you fight good luck."

She polished off her fifth mug and walked off like she been drinking the juice. I walked home and finally made it to my bed when I came to find Hestia was asleep on it, and she was not just on it, she apparently took off all her clothes and the only thing covering her was my paper thin blanket.

I went downstairs got her wool blanket and went back and placed it on her. I went down to the first floor and found myself a comfortable spot to sleep on the floor. Some other men would think that if a woman went and did something as Hestia did, this was clearly an invitation to have his way with her, but I respect her far too much and love someone else.

As the cries of the roaster were heard, I found myself covered by a blanket made of linen. I got off the floor, folded said blanket and got dressed for today was the day of monsterphilia. If I remember correctly the first prize of the tournament was a weapon of the winner's choice made by Hephaestus herself.

I ran towards the stadium, I saw Ainz was waiting for me. At most I figured that I would be able to see the person that won, but after the offer, Ainz made I was now ready to face any monster Ganesha and his Familia could send against me.

As we stepped into the arena I saw Loki, she was smiling that smile I know so well. "You got it, you don't even have to say it Loki, but there is one thing I want, I keep the weapon, you can keep the money, deal?" She just nodded her head as she began to laugh as she used to when she made fun of the relationship I have with Hephaestus.

As I stepped into the arena I saw six monsters, I took hold of my dagger and Ainz was ready with her sword. The monsters began to rush me, I guess to them I am the weakest one between us, or it could be that since I only have what could be considered a knife I have the smallest reach.

That, of course, was a mistake on their part, I pulled the bottom of the dagger and a long chain began to unwind from the bottom and inside of the dagger. As soon as it was completely exposed I took hold of it and began twirling it. By using the chain I knocked a monster off balance and Ainz would finish it off.

When they rushed her back I cut the monster to pieces by piercing vital points, one after another the monster was taken care off, in some sense the people watching got the show they wanted, a brutal fight between two people and monsters who would love nothing more than making both of us their next meal.

Match after the match we fought, the fact that this tournament offered no rest between each match was not an error, it was all intentional, to test the very limits of the people fighting, to drive in the feeling that one moment's indiscretion it could be a matter of life and death. This is as much a tournament as it is also a training exercise of sorts.

After three grueling hours, the final battle for the tournament was between us and a Silver-back, the large ape was something that for some odd reason it was focused on me. I decided to use that against him, he was so focused on me that he never noticed the hits Ainz did to his back.

The more hits the ape got, the slower it got, until finally, the ape realized what we were doing and tried to at the very least kill me, the minute he was within range I used the chain the spin the dagger hard enough to chop off the hands of the ape, and when it was screaming from the pain I stabbed the ape through the chest causing the ape-like all the monsters that we fought before to burst into smoke releasing the magic crystals.

Ganesha more than likely would grant the price from the sales of the crystals from all the fights leading to our current one, I think he would gladly pay for the weapon and give quite the amount of money to the winner, even if he did that I think Ganesha and his family still stood to make a tidy profit.

He has every right, he is the one that had people capture and cage all the monsters for the tournament, he should get some money for his efforts, and maintaining a Familia his size means he does have quite the expense. Unlike other Familia, he actually provides for his members, weapons, armor, medicines, practically everything, since as I said the guy loves making people happy.

As we stand on the platform being awarded as the winner of the tournament, I truly thought that I would miss this chance, I get to pick a prime quality weapon that is true, but I also get to see Hephaestus, I miss my lover something awful, and because she will be making the weapon, she will spend some quality time with me, just like old times.

I saw Ganesha finish one of his long-winded speeches and that is when I felt someone kiss me on the side of my face. "Thank you for taking my offer Bell, it was a lovely date. Hope we can have many more in the future, darling." Wait, what? Ainz just kissed me and she thought of this as a date? I was thinking she was doing this as a means to apologize for what she did to my friend.

As I was handed the piece of paper to claim my price, Ganesha began to laugh. Ainz apparently left in a hurry. I looked at Ganesha and glared at him making comments on how his tournament could even bring about romance. I was really angry, and I mean really angry. I took one of the swords of the people in the so-called honor guard during the award ceremony.

I walked over Ganesha and looked at him, "If you don't stop getting the wrong idea about me and Ainz, I swear, I will cut your head off and replace it with the head of an ass. You remember how pleasant that was the last time don't you?"

That is when he stopped making comments how it was lovely for me to find someone special and looked at me, "I am a good little man, I enjoy a joke as much as anyone but you need to realize while I may love to make people happy and safe, I can still give you a much-needed attitude readjustment, boy."

I looked at the sword, this thing will break but I guess it must be done. "You want people to be safe get the mortals out of this arena now! I will do something to show you who exactly I am a dear old friend but do so now or Hel will be very busy, and you know how she gets when that happens."

That is when he told me that the audience has already left, only his Familia are present, and they have gone to eat dinner since we began talking since it was clear to them we would argue for quite some time.

"Very well, give me a large stone slab, and I will show you how wrong you are." Ganesha went into his storage and brought me a large slab, made of granite. I guess I did say stone, no reason to complain.

I pointed the sword at the slab and without a moment to hesitate, **"For Justice, I smite thee, For wrongs done to me be punished, Know well the name of the one to teach you this lesson, for I am THOR, God of Thunder. THUNDERBLAST."**

The second I did that the statue was hit by a large volt of lightning and Ganesha just stood next to me with his mouth open, I walked over to it and with a solid hit, I hit the slab and it crumbled into dust.

"Mortal am I? Are you quite done embarrassing me, my dear old friend? You think I am angry, wait till Hephaestus hears about this. You remember the time when you told her I was cheating on her with the Norms don't you?"

He walked over to where I was and he picked me up and began to hug me for some reason, did he have to do that. "Thor, I had no idea you were in Orario, some friend you are, you could have told me, wait, why are you pretending to be a mortal and why are you so small? Come on no more keeping secrets from me. Spill it, tell me why?"

As he finally let go off me I looked at him, "I would still be with my fellow Gods, had my war-hammer not been stolen by someone. I spent a year calling to it, but for some reason, my trusty weapon can not either come to me or heed my summons. Without it, you know what happens, I may retain some of my godly abilities, but my power, my immortality, and my true strength are sealed from me."

"If I could still have at least my immortality I could spend a single night with the woman I still very much love. The heat of our passion and her strength, however, would kill me, and I know Hel would love it if that happens, my niece simply would do what you just did with your little speech, but the embarrassment she would cause is at least a thousand time worse."

"I would love to be able to be with the one person I love, I can't regain my godhood till I recover the weapon that has become the very symbol of my godhood. So for once, just hand me the ticket so I can get that weapon, and maybe just maybe get to spend some time with my beloved."

He did but not before hugging me yet again, since when was this guy this emotional? "Wait does that mean the second you regain your war-hammer you will no longer be able to go down to fight the monster?"

I can't believe he had to say that, "Yes, I will no longer be able to go down to fight monsters, more than likely I will also end up either joining Hephaestus Familia or form a Familia of my own. You know full well that gods are not welcomed by the labyrinth, and should one of us enter it would only lead to disaster for the mortals."

As I walked away he simply kept looking at me, I have known Ganesha for countless years, we have even fought once or twice as a means to improve our strength, but unlike me, he still has all his power, and can use it if he so desired, but I couldn't without my war-hammer, who knew that I would end up becoming so dependent on the gift my sister got for me.

As I walked out I know the feeling of someone from my own pantheon looking at me, it seems Freya has become upset with me, don't tell me she wanted to use that silver-back ape for something as a means to deal with her boredom. I would never have believed that the goddess is known for being the goddess of love, beauty and maternity would be such a trickster.

Her brother Frey in about half a heartbeat, but Freya, not something I would have considered. "Evening Freya, I hope that you enjoyed the tournament as much as I did." She walked towards me and I could feel her glare. Something about the way she is walking is making the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

"I don't think I enjoyed it as much as you did, fighting with a member of your sister's Familia and all, the Sword Princess of Orario no less, you should be happier that your lover didn't see how close you two were to each other, you know how heated she can get, don't you Thor?"

I could not help but feel almost insulted by her saying my divine name so casually, "My name is Bell Carnel, unless your Familia is actually going into the labyrinth to find my missing weapon, I don't think that is the case, but who knows you might actually still care about little old me."

I decided to walkway when she ran towards me and began to press herself against my back, how is she not cold wearing clothing that thin? "You wonder if I care about you? That is almost so funny that it is almost sad, I never stopped caring about you, had you not met that woman, you would have been mine, all mine, but no, you had to meet that greek goddess."

"You have any idea how frustrating it is to be this close to you and a sense that you still love her more and more, how do you think I feel like a goddess of love, and not being able to feel such tender emotions from the one person I wish would love me?"

I began to walk away and she just kept glaring at me, as I entered the shop my beloved owned and worked in, I could still feel her glaring at me. That is when I decided to lower the shutters and pretty much stop her from following me with her eyes.

"Well, well, so what do I owe this surprise visit?" I looked at her wearing her night robes, still say that even if they are as dark as a starless night, and softer than the petals of a rose, she does look quite appetizing wearing that, the way it simply hugs her figure, the way the lace is on it emphasizing the cleft between her breasts and how smooth her skin is thanks to the exposed portion of her legs.

"You might have heard it already, One of Loki's children did me a favor by allowing me to team up with her for Monsterphilia, I got the reward of you making a weapon for the winner, the real question is why are you being so cold towards me Hephaestus, you look absolutely lovely this evening."

She looked at me and tossed a hammer at me, which I, of course, caught, "For your information,, I look lovely no matter what I wear, you should know this better than anyone, why am I upset? Well, it could be that Ainz Wallenstein got to fight alongside you when you never fought anything with me."

"Or it could be that ever since the tournament ended every person that saw you two win the final fight, came by my shop saying things that would make any woman angry if they were in my shoes, they kept saying how you two looked so good together, and that you were the new power couple of Orario."

Damn it, so my lover is in a bad mood because of stupid gossip. "You should know better than that, I may miss my trusty weapon and companion Mjolnir, but I would not be a part of the Familia your friend made if it wasn't to help you. I loved you for ages, against protests from my own pantheon, and even against please to reconsider from your own."

"If only Mjolnir was still with me, I simply would form a Familia and we could live together as we always wanted. I was told that Loki is still looking for it, but somehow I get the feeling he is dragging his feet. I can't make much progress thanks to the poor durability mortal made weapons have."

She looked at me as she took the hammer she threw from my hand and smiled, "So it is good that you own that tournament then, I guess I will make you a dagger and an arming sword, I told you several times to simply tell me if you need anything, I would happily provide anything for you, and I do mean anything."

I simply smiled and as she leaned close to my body I could feel she was probably as excited as I was, "My love, if I agreed to such a thing, people will realize who I am and could cause me to be banned from the labyrinth, I still think Mjolnir is still somewhere in the depts of that labyrinth."


	9. Chapter 9

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

Well, this dagger and sword were a bit off, somehow they felt a little lighter than what I would expect, why do they have these runes carved on the blade? I honestly think they sort of remind me of ancient Greek, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my lover enchanted these blades, it took Hephaestus two months to actually make the sword and dagger.

"Actually Master Bell, it is signed by Hestia, so apparently the Goddess Hestia is the one that wrote that on the blades of both the sword and the dagger, which really it should be called Hestia knife, a Dagger is very sharp point and usually two sharp edges. So I guess she even wrote the names on here, Hestia Knife and Arming Sword, she didn't want to draw too much attention to herself didn't she? "

I guess I really need to talk with Hestia about this when I get back, I know she and my beloved are both old friends but even I was surprised that she took the time to work with Hephaestus to make me these, somehow I think there is a story behind this.

The Hestia knife close-range enemies and The Hestia Sword Aka the Arming Sword for larger ones, all in all, I am making good use of them, and for some strange reason, they don't chip, dull or even bend, I killed a ton of monsters and still these blades look like when I got them. All in all, I have to say I am quite proud of Hephaestus, she sure did a wonderful job with these weapons.

Now my armor made by Lady Welf Crozzo, of that I bought during my date with Eina Tulle to shopping to buy some armor, on the other hand, is getting a bit bent and scratched, then again this armor was rather cheap, so, all in all, it is nothing short of a miracle that it has held as long as it has. "So you doing alright Lily? No problems that I could help you with?" She stopped picking items and looked at me.

"Not that I can think of Master Bell, everything is pretty good actually. I do have a few disagreements with members of my Familia, but there is very little anyone can do, the God that leads my Familia only seems to care about one thing, making liquor, even if I wanted to leave the cost is extraordinarily large."

That is true, to prevent people from abandoning their commitments too easily the guild did implement that heavy fine, in truth I think it is more to do with financing the Guild that anything else.

"If you have some problems with your fellow Familia members, you know you could tell me about it, I think I could get Hestia to tell Soma all about it, they have known each other for ages, so it wouldn't be much of a problem."

She looks at me and for some reason she simply just keeps doing that, "No, that would be causing too much trouble to the Goddess, I only need to collect enough money, and once I finish collecting it, pay the fee at the Guild, once that is done I will be free to either join another Familia or work at a shop owned by a friend of mine."

"There are members in my family that have been taking advantage of me since I was a little girl, so the fact that Soma never even noticed showed me how little he cares. What is troubling is, we are getting near the seventh floor, and for some odd reason, the number of monsters seems to be decreasing the closer we get to the seventh floor."

I was not about to mention it, but that is true, the monsters we have killed so far as weak almost like they were desperately trying to run away from someone. As we walked up to the pathway into the seventh floor, I began to think about things I experienced here, memories of fun times with my friend.

"Master Bell, is something the matter?" I guess I became a little lost in thought, "Nothings is wrong Lily, it is just that I have so many memories of this particular floor, I used to meet my dear friend here, we would spar and spend time together here. In truth, I guess I will always miss Mihra."

"Who is Mihra?" I told her it was the friend that Ainz mistakenly killed thinking I was in danger, she was a Minotaur, truth be told my friend was always considerate and a very kind soul, she always packed a lunch for both of us, so she was also a very good cook.

"Don't get me wrong Master Bell, but it almost sounds like you and this lady Minotaur were dating." I couldn't help but to laugh, "Well to her they were in fact dates, I only came to realize this on the day she died. I guess the times I spent with her were so precious that is why every time I come to this level of the dungeon I can't help but remember it fondly."

That is when I heard someone laugh, _"To think my sister's killer still holds her in such regards, it is almost tragic that I will kill you, you who dared to seduce my sister and then cause her death. To think I would meet you here of all places."_

A large Minotaur stood in our way in a rather large open space, to think he would appear, it is a little too much coincidence that I happen to get these weapons and he just happens to show up on the same day. This must be her brother, she often talked about him when we talked here.

" _I would never cause Mihra harm, she was my very best friend, how dare you say that I willingly cause her harm. I didn't seduce anyone, I didn't even know she was in love with me till that fool killed her before I could even stop her."_

He really does look like he is raging mad, _"I don't want to hear you excuses, you dare to come here with another female, a female that by her scent is in fact in love with you, you killed my sister, through action or inaction it matters not, I will kill you, so grab that piece of junk your kind calls a weapon and fight me,_ _ **Today my sister will be avenged.**_ _"_

I looked at Lily, "Lily I will buy you time, get away from this place, go to the Guild and ask for help, the Loki Familia should be in the dungeon right now if you find them maybe they can come and help me deal with him."

"But make no mistake Lily, this Minotaur is a lot stronger than the normal variety, he is the brother of my friend, and he is full of rage since he blames me for his sister's death. An Enraged monster is ten times more deadly than normal, so run and get help."

I take my sword in hand and saw that Lily was not moving at all, " **Lily get going, if you don't we will both die here. GO, GO NOW!"** She took off towards the higher floors and I could breathe a little easier knowing she would at least be safe.

"So now that my friend is out of the way, come on big boy, let's you and me have ourselves a good old time. You want to fight me, well you should have been more careful of what you wish for." I took hold of my knife with my free hand and took a stand I learned sparring Mihra.

"You wanted to fight, come and fight me crazy." He tried to charge at me and I evaded that when he tried to attack me with his sword, rather large come to think of it where did he get that sword in the first place, I remember Mihra telling that monsters usually had to steal equipment from adventurers that go into the dungeon.

I still say that taking the sword off the ground when said adventurer is dead well technically that is recycling not stealing, but what kind of a loon dropped that sword for him to find? It looks like a giant slab of metal, rather dull now that I think of it.

I knew this would eventually happen, me fighting Mihra's brother blaming me constantly for her death, even though it was Ainz that clearly misunderstood a couple of friends spending time and believed my life was in danger.

No matter how many times I block his attacks he simply will not quit trying to kill me, as soon as I thought that Lily had gone far enough, I planted one of my swords down and with the knife I directed the energy from within causing it to create an arc of pure lightning, hitting the sword my opponent had been using and blowing up into giant ball of fire, fire that filled the entire chamber.

I felt the fire burn the armor off my body and the pain was simply so horrible that I lost consciousness. As I tried to get back up, I found myself wearing my old armor, the one I often used to wear when I still had my war hammer. Everything was dark and that is until I saw someone in the distance.

"Honestly Thor don't you know gasses can accumulate in the dungeon? You lit a large pocket of swam gasses and that is what caused the fire, thank goodness I was able to stop it, you aren't dead, you were knocked unconscious due to the sudden loss of air. I need to explain somethings to you so come and sit with me."

I looked at him and knew exactly who this was, "So I am dreaming all this, well at least I got to see you, my old friend, how is Persephone doing these days? For some strange reason, I was unable to visit you or your wife for a long time."

I saw Hades laugh as I sat down, "Well the gateway to the underworld was sealed by your father so I don't think he approved of our long friendship, but seriously you still think that Loki was the one that stole your godly weapon, right?"

I could not deny it, Loki had ample opportunity and she always seems to be angry with me giving plenty of motive to do it. "Actually my old friend your sister had nothing to do with it, I learned because some of the souls of the dead actually know what happened, it seems a Giant was the one that stole your war hammer, I guess they were terrified if you ever managed to take over your father's throne, and so they stole you hammer to prevent that from happening."

"Also I am quite happy to tell you that yes, you will see Mihra alive and well soon, why? Because I simply got sick and tired of hearing her moan and cry about not being able to spend any time with you, I am not kidding, I mean even the people around here were starting to form their own little support group, and they were in the Elysium Fields."

I simply did not understand how could my friend does, he sure has gotten a lot better at reading minds, "How in the world did I manage that? Simple, you just killed her brother, so I used that corpse, a little power from me, and done, she has a new body, insert the soul and back to life, couldn't have been easier."

I guess this is something my friend is never going to let me forget, I am grateful that I will get to see her again, but wait how is she going to be in the city with a city that pretty much made it a business practice to kill people that are her particular species. "I will be the first to admit it Hades, I do miss my good friend, but you know most of the people in this particular city have pretty much made it killing monsters their main source of income."

"How in the world are you going to protect her from thousands of people who want to kill her simply because she might drop an item or a magic core for them to sell to the guild?" He laughed and told me it was quite simple, he simply made a Familia, and Mihra is the first member of said Familia.

"Hey, if your lover can make a Familia, I don't see why not. Don't go taking this the wrong way, my wife will do most of her status checks and updating on her back. It does mean I will have to attend those meetings between the Gods that have Familia, and it will mean I will have to spend some time away from my job, but if it is to help my good friend no problem."

He then touched my arm and I swear I felt like something was burning me, "There, now once you find that war hammer of yours, you will not have to worry about ever entering the dungeon in your true form, that brand pretty much gives you permission to enter even if you found your war hammer."

"Actually I am hoping that you do find it soon, some of the larger monsters in the dungeon on the lower floors have been acting up, if you could find that war hammer and scare them out of these stupid notions, that would be great, you do remember that the dungeon is my area to control. So many people die, it could be called the pathway to the underworld."

I looked at him and began to shake my head at him, "Look you pretty much told me you control this entire place, so cut being cryptic and tell me on what floor is my war hammer, cause I know since you have such control of this place, you have to know."

He began to laugh, boy this brings back memories, no, this is not the time to get lost watching regressed memories, we don't even have snacks, "You know I would love to tell you, but where is the fun in doing that? Come on, at least it wasn't like last time, you don't have some lute-playing jackass to slow you down."

"Just remember that you as my friend will always be welcomed by me into my realm, that includes this dungeon, other deities can stay out of it, of all the gods in all the pantheons you are one of the few that treat me as an individual and do not judge me for the work I must do."

I told him I leave the prejudice and bratty ego trips to his idiot brothers. He laughed and we began to talk about how his life has been, Persephone seems to be doing great, and Cerberus apparently had a little of pups. Too bad I can't go down there to see them, they must be adorable.

As I finally ended my meeting with my friend I felt someone pin me against the wall of the dungeon and is it me or does someone have their tongue in my mouth, wait a second someone is french kissing me just as I woke up, well that is one way to say good morning I will not soon forget.

" _You had me worried, you wouldn't move, I thought that fighting that idiot brother of mine would have killed you. I took you to a segment of this floor I knew we would be safe, and tried to treat your wounds, sorry to tell you that your armor is pretty much scrapped, had a really tough time getting it off you."_

So this dark elf apparently knows me, and she took what little remained of my armor off me, as soon as she took us to what appears to be a camping site in the floor of the dungeon. Why does this lady sound familiar, it was when she actually let me walk towards the campfire that I began to notice two things.

If some goddess were to have killer figures, well this dark elf sure has the body to be declared a living goddess, she was more beautiful than some statues I have seen, she was also dressed in rags that I sort of remember seeing before.

" _You have to excuse the way I am dressed, I know it is not very ladylike to be walking around with my chest and privates exposed, but then again, the armor that my brother was wearing got wrecked by the lightning attack you used. Why are you looking at me like that, don't you recognize me? It's me, Mihra."_

I think I have a few spare pieces of armor that Lily was about to throw away, I got some tread and a needle, guess I sat down near the campfire and began to undo some stitches and began to use the clothes to make something that would fit her, granted the thing looks more like a quilt than an actual dress, but considering what I have to work with and it was my first time it doesn't look that bad.

"Well, apparently Hades already put on the contract on your back, making you the only member of the Hades Familia, Mihra why you never told me that our many sparring matches were actually dates?"

She finished putting on the dress that I finished making, and she looked a little upset when she heard me, _"Do I need to spell it out to you? I brought food, drink, made a little picnic for us, and we were both doing something we both enjoy, how is that not a date?"_

I finally got the chance to tell her how sorry I am about not noticing this before, she pulled me into a tight hug and told me the fact that I finally noticed was more than enough for her, that is when suddenly I felt the presence of some people walking towards the campfire.

It seems this is a well known resting place for the Loki Familia members since the campsite also has the emblem of the Loki Familia carved on the wall nearby.

That is when I saw Lily, Ainz, the werewolf idiot from before, don't remember his name, some high elf lady and two amazons. "We finally found you Master Bell, **and who the hell is that busty bimbo who was hugging you!** " Why is Lily this upset?

I tried to calm her down, as she was actually ready to shoot arrows at Mihra, "This is my good friend Mihra, she sort of saved me by healing me after my fight with the Minotaur, she is a member of the Hades Familia, this is Lily she is a member of the Soma Familia, and that is Ainz she is a member of the Loki Familia."

Mihra took the initiative and began to talk to some of the people in the Loki Familia and after a little bit and much effort from me, the party was getting along better and we were finally able to make out of the dungeon, the only question is why is that werewolf moron still looking at my back? I am a Norse Deity, and I don't swing that way.


	10. Chapter 10

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

As I walked out of the entrance to the dungeon, I still feel a bit uncomfortable wearing the few pieces of armor that Mihra somehow was able to scrape together, she must have gone to the minotaur settlement because this stuff only was a pair of grieves and pretty much nothing else.

I am surprised that most adventures don't realize that while yes, monsters are born from the dungeon once they grow in sufficient numbers, they start to form settlements, villages, and even cities depending on how intelligent the monster is.

All in all, I am walking out of the dungeon wearing some leather pants and nothing else, which is making me feel rather exposed, and if that was not bad enough this stupid werewolf keeps staring at my back.

"Ainz, I am telling you right now, you either tell that puppy off your Familia to stop looking at my back or so help me, I am going to beat that idiot so hard I will send him to the underworld. I am do not bend that way, can't this fool understand that?"

I heard some growling and the elf right next to me began to try hard not to laugh, " You would not be the first person to accuse Bete of being gay, but that simply is not the case. Sorry to tell you but the reason he is staring at you is he can't believe the Stats on your contract, granted neither could I when I first saw it."

"My name is Riveria, I am a high elf so I have lived long enough to see some incredible things, but as a level one, with all your stats at class S that is something I never saw before. I could also say that I am surprised that I never knew there was a Hades Familia or that the only member of it was a Drow. Given our history with each other, I am sure someone would have warned me about her by now."

I looked at her and tried my best to be as friendly as possible, "Mihra is someone I trust, she is a good friend of mine, and I know the God of her Familia rather well. Trust me, she is a very nice person, but if someone attacks her, her Familia was formed by a God of the Underworld. I would think very carefully before trying to attack her over something that happened ages ago."

Riveria looked at Mihra still holding my hand and pressing her body next to mine as I stand, "You two don't behave like you are just friends, the way she seems to be holding you pretty much makes it clear that she considers you someone who apparently she has thinks she has a claim on you."

I was no about to deny it, but I was not about to say that Mihra is the reincarnated minotaur Aiz killed, "I will not deny it, I have loved Bell for a very long time, but right now the reason I walk so close to him is to help him, by offering him some support, he has not completely healed. I prefer that you call me Dark Elf since I am not a believer of the Spider Queen."

As the others left Mihra insisted that I went to the Guild's doctor. I honestly think sometimes I feel like I am a kid again being told what I need to do even when I don't want to do it, but again something about this also tells me that she is worried about me and that she cares.

Well, the doctor didn't find anything a few nights of good sleep and relaxation wouldn't cure Mihra did an excellent job in treating my injuries, the doctor went as far as to almost call them miraculous once she told him the reason for my injuries. I decided that there was no reason to put this off any longer.

I decided to take Mihra to meet Hestia, I hope that I can at least explain to her that Mihra needs some lodging, and I would feel less worried if she was somewhere I can see she is safe.

As soon as I made it back someone jumped to me and began to hug me, "Belle you are safe, that is wonderful, I been hearing some horrible things about you getting into a fight with another Minotaur and pretty much causing an explosion that killed all the monster of the seventh floor in the dungeon."

She finally relaxed enough to notice I was only wearing some leather pants and not the armor I bought before, I am going to miss that armor, it was comfortable and affordable, but I doubt I will be able to find another set made by the same blacksmith if the quality of my previous armor was anything to go by, it was made by Lady Welf Crozzo.

"I did have to fight a Minotaur on the seventh floor and there was a massive explosion once I tried to use my magic ability, you don't need to worry, Lily was looking for help on the sixth floor when the explosion happened. I was lucky that my friend Mihra here was nearby and healed most of my injuries."

She looked at me, and then looked at Mihra, "What is wrong with you Bell, first I have to accept you working with a furry girl, and now you bring this drow girl! You even had that crush on Wallenstein, how many more women will get between us? How many of them will you bring to our little chapel which is our only home?"

Well, it was not like a planned these things to happen, and I don't have a crush on Ais, "Look my friend Hades, you do remember Hades don't you Hestia? Well, he decided to form a Familia, but since he is the god of the Underworld he doesn't have a place for his Familia."

"He is sort of your relative as far as I can tell, so I figured that she could stay with us in the chapel till Hades finds a place for his Familia to live at, and it would make my life less stressful if I don't have to worry about the safety of my good friend. Her name is Mihra, and she prefers to be called a Dark Elf since she doesn't consider herself a Drow."

Hestia was looking at me and she seems to be glaring at Mihra for some reason, "Alright, but then answer me this one simple question, one thing I want to know, where is she going to sleep?"

I was ready to say she is going to sleep on a bed, and I will sleep on the rickety couch I found that someone threw away and I managed to sneak up to my room. Mihra not even waiting for me to answer just points at me and the looks at Hestia and says without even a hint of humor with him.

I couldn't believe what she said, she is talking to a person who I had to use locks made in Hell to keep her out of my bedroom, that she plans to sleep with the guy who she until I placed said locks always sneaked into his bed, with nothing more than a smile.

"Well since you answered my question, sure no problem at all, go right ahead and sleep wherever and whoever you want with, I have no problem with this at all." At this moment I wanted to ask two questions, who in the nine hells is she and where is the real Hestia? I, of course, didn't because I am not suicidal and stupid.

"Well since we have taken care of this, just remember that the password for entering my room is to say All Hail Loki." Yes, that is the reason why she could never again sneak into my bedroom, her hatred of Loki is pretty close to legendary, so to say that is one thing she will never do.

"Now if you two will excuse me, I need to put on some clothes, and go and buy myself a new set of armor." As I was about to go up the staircase to get dressed I heard Hestia tell me or yell at me that I should take Lily with me, since she is a lot better at haggling than I am. I will not deny it, Lily is a much better price negotiator than I am.

The fact that I am looking for armor made by someone who is part of the same Familia and my beloved would probably rub her the wrong way so I decided to go and look for said armor myself, while she looked at all the high priced armor and weapons Hephaestus herself has made, she actually made a museum or I rather call it a catalog.

"So Master Bell, you are looking for a new set of armor, could I convince you to get a heavier type of armor?" That would not work for me, with the current weapons I have I need to wear light armor to make good use of my speed, to be able to use my weapons to do the most amount of damage.

We finally decided to go where the apprentices sell the gear they made, she was still looking at full plate mail armor. I decided to go towards the back, where I found my last armor set, I might get lucky and find myself a new set there, and for an affordable price.

I kept looking in all the boxes, not one to be found. I was getting more and more frustrated as time went on, the last armor I bought was great, comfortable, durable, affordable, and a joy to wear. I can't find any armor made by the same lady.

That is when I finally decided to go to the desk and ask the person in charge of this section of the store what the hell is going on? He was arguing with this beautiful redhead, who was wearing leather armor that pretty much put her killer figure on display, she did have a rather nice figure, strong, yet alluring, sort of reminds me of Hephaestus truth be told.

I tried ringing the bell on the desk but I was ignored, I was angry enough that I decided to hit the stupid bell as hard as I could, bad idea, it got the bell to flatten, was flatter than a piece of paper.

" **Alright, who do I have to proposition for me to get an armor set by Welf Crozzo in here! I was not expecting to be treated like royalty but you suck at customer service, I been trying to get your damn attention for twenty minutes!"**

That is when the redhead began to laugh, and I mean to laugh so hard she ended up touching her stomach, "Well Greg it was fun doing business with you." The clerk just took what was left of the bell and told us both and I quote to blow him. I pointed my hand at him and the spell began to form till the red-haired woman decided to take hold of my hand and pulled me to follow her somewhere.

Once we were seated on a bench outside I realized she was carrying a box. "So you decided to look for an armor made by Welf Crozzo, don't you know Welf Crozzo has a horrible reputation among blacksmiths around here? Why would you want anything made by her?"

I looked at her and I was so upset that I didn't even bother sugar-coating my words. "I want armor made by Welf Crozzo because I bought an armor set, the bunny armor set, that she made, and it was the single most comfortable, affordable and useful armor I ever wore in my entire life."

"That armor I liked so much got destroyed the last time I was in the dungeon since she made that armor, I wanted to see more of her armor sets, maybe I would get lucky and be able to buy yet another great armor set."

She again began to laugh as she tapped the box that was placed right between us, "So you bought some of my armor and liked it so much you want another, why it is almost so touching, I am liable to swoon. Yea, those guys don't value my armor since it was not as gilded or pretty to look at. So they took my last armor set off the floor."

She tapped the box, "This here is my fox armor, and if you liked my bunny armor, you are going to love this one, but since you are a repeat customer I will do you one better, I want you to sign an exclusivity contract with me, I will be your blacksmith, be it for new weapons, or armor, you come to me."

"And you are doing this out of the goodness of your heart? Come on, I know a thing like this will come with a cost, so how much for the armor?" She laughed and even blushed a little when she heard me say that.

"Actually it is cheaper than you expect, I just want to join your party, go with you to the dungeon and gather materials for my craft while we are there, that is it, if you mean the cost of the armor, that is free, but I have only one condition, you treat me like any other party member, a friend."

Well I was looking for an armor set made by her, and I have to admit that once I find my war hammer, it will require a very skilled sorcerer, blacksmith, and a very powerful deity to restore it, I accidentally shattered it once, and boy was the blacksmith that made it angry. I had never seen a dwarf foam at the mouth when they are sober.

She touched my hand and with a gentle handshake, we had an agreement. "The only problem I would expect is either Lily telling me off for making this deal without her being present, or Hestia for signing a contract when in reality she should have done it herself."

"So is Lily your girlfriend? Lover? Significant other?" I said she is my friend and a member of the Soma Familia, but if I had to say who my lover is, she probably knows her very well. Since we had plenty of privacy I told her that I was actually in love with her patron goddess, Hephaestus.

She began to nod her head, "Well most people don't think much of her with that eye patch she wears, but I got to say you got good taste Bell, she does look quite beautiful when she wears an evening dress." I wanted to yell that she looks great in anything, and just makes her unique.

No matter how to weaken I am, how much work I must do to help her friend, or even how much danger I face, it seems my love for her is as strong as ever, if not even more so. "So Bell when was the last time you and the goddess of my Familia spend a night of passion together?" How long has it been since I been able to make love to her?

I almost felt like crying when Welf said, "It has been that long? Sorry, Bell I didn't realize, it is just that young men tend to be very much focused on that one nightly activity. Sorry, I asked. So it has been that long, and you still love her? Didn't cheat on her or anything? That is admirable."

"More like depressing, you know how they say she is super hot, well if they knew her the way I do, they realize that is not a compliment, that is a description, she is a goddess of the Forge, a blacksmith deity, so when I say super hot, I mean melt iron hot. I however still wish we could be together."

She looked at me and smiled, "You are right about one thing I indeed know Hephaestus very well, she used to drown her sorrows with me you know, you will not believe this but she had an old lover that was incredible, she is part of the Greek Pantheon, but the guy she cried about was a Norse Deity, Thor can you believe it? The Norse God of Thunder and Justice."

I can believe, I am that deity, but I am not going to tell her about it. That is when Lily finally found me and yes she was upset, "Crozzo, you got another armor from such an infamous blacksmith family."

I looked at Lily, "Look Lady Welf Crozzo happens to have made my last armor set also, I liked her armor, the quality and it was both durable, useful and comfortable, so of course I want another armor made by her. She is nice, she is also joining us in our party, she will be a welcome addition now with four members we should be able to reach lower levels in the dungeon."

Welf looked at me with this look of surprise, "Oh, that is right, aside from Lily here, I also had another person join my party, she took care of me after a fight with a Minotaur in the dungeon, a good friend of mine, her name is Mihra and she is a member of the Hades Familia, she is a dark elf."

Lily looked upset when I mentioned Mihra, "She may deny it but she is a Drow and speaking of irresponsibility, do you think it would be time for you to return to Hestia and update your status? After a fight with a Minotaur, while you are only level one, that should at least raised your level to two. But she needs to update your status for that to take effect."

"But no, you are out here buying armor from this top-heavy redhead, instead of doing what you need to do, I am going to take a guess and say Hestia will be furious about this, she was when you introduce me and Mihra to her. I am even upset because you left me to flirt with this bimbo while I was looking for some good armor for you!"

That is when Welf decided to unbutton two buttons of her shirt and decided to show a lot more cleavage than before. "Sorry, Little Lily isn't my fault that you are so tiny. Bell are you sure this little shrimp is a good supporter? Cause you know I would like to reach the eleventh floor by the end of this week if we can manage it, but with four members in our party that shouldn't be a problem."


	11. Chapter 11

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

That very night I went to sleep and who just happens to be waiting for me, Hades, _"Hades to what do I owe this joyous visit, my friend? You should know that I managed to have Hestia allow Mihra to stay with me under the pretext that you are looking for a place of your own for your Familia. Everything alright?"_

He laughed and looked at me with a smile, _"Yes, my wife has also agreed to check on the status of Mihra, and I thank you for smoothing things over with Hestia, but sadly I came for something other than friendly conversation, you remember Cerberus, don't you? Well, he has a mate now and he is the proud father of four pups."_

" _The problem Thor is that these pups are more excitable than Cerberus ever was and one of these pups has gone higher in the dungeon than even her father could have believed, she is lost, so I really need your help in finding this pup, Cerberus is getting sick from worry about his child."_

I looked at Hades and saw that he also looked like he lost a few days worth of sleep over this, I could tell him that I am to busy with my own problems with the Familia, but let's face it I could never abandon a friend in need. _"I will look for her while I go into the dungeons, it would help if I knew what she looked liked?"_

He touched the space beside him and a picture of an azured haired pup with three heads appeared, I have to say that it is a rather unique fur color, from the picture I gather she is rather a friendly pup. _"Alright, my friend I will try my best to find her, anything else I should know about her? And what do you want me to do once I find her?"_

He didn't waste any more time and he flat out told me this pup much like her mother and father could actually divide and become three single-headed pups, and as to what he wanted me to do, first to tell him when I found her, and second to find out why did she go so many floors up in the dungeon. I guess he wants to prevent the other pups from doing the same thing.

As soon as I woke up, I found that Mihra had taken me from the little sofa I placed in my room and put me in the bed where she was sleeping, second thing I found Mihra doesn't like to wear clothes when she sleeps, and finally she tends to cling to a person when she is sharing the same bed.

I am only grateful that Hephaestus or Hestia could not look at me this very moment, I already saw Mihra being cruelly murdered once, that is not something I want to see anytime soon. As she moved her body pressed more into mine, think cold things, think of Hel buck naked bathing in a lake in a frozen lake.

I never had this much problem controlling my hormones before, honestly, I need to find that war hammer because as an old friend used to joke with me if someone needs a night of passion with my significant other, that person is me.

"Well Bell, I see that you are wide awake if what is brushing against my thigh is any indication, I hope you had a good night sleep, sorry but I still think that sofa is one that I don't think is good enough for a toad much less you, so when I saw you asleep on it, I carried you over to my bed so that you be more comfortable, are you feeling any lasting pain from the fight from yesterday?"

I look at Mihra, "No I have no more aches or bruises from the fight against that extremely stubborn Minotaur, the only problem I might have is that if I made you feel uncomfortable with me taking so much space from the bed as I slept."

She was still on the bed with me and she was smiling this rather seductive almost sultry smile, "As much as I would like to spend some time resting, we do have something to talk about, you know of the missing pup don't you? We are going also to help Welf gained some materials she needs to improve her own blacksmith ability."

She stopped smiling when I mentioned Welf, it seems to me that jealousy was something universal, "I know thanks to Hades telling me all about it, but do you think that the other members of our group will ever realize that you are so much better than any mere mortal, Hades told me the truth and I was shocked to hear that."

"The blessing that he granted you and the reason for it, so tell me do you think your goddess lover would hate me when she realizes that some of the women around you, and even some goddesses want to shall we say taste what she once enjoyed. I am also going to help you recover the pieces of that weapon."

As we both got dressed Mihra took a lot longer to get dressed or is this yet another attempt to show how attractive her figure was? I been known to have tea with the Norms, watched Valkyries train, and even bathed with other gods and goddesses of my own pantheon, so if she was trying to embarrass me well this was not going to do that.

As we finally made it to the entrance of the chapel I looked at the angry glare of Hestia, "Well Goddess it seems that Hades has decided to give me a quest, it seems a pup was lost in the dungeon, we are also helping Welf to improve her abilities, is there anything we can get for you while in the dungeon Goddess?"

She looked at me with a smile but glared at Mihra for a second there, "I do wish that you could get me some materials so I can ask Welf to help me make better cooking utensils, I been thinking of picking up my old hobby of cooking. It would save our familia some money since we don't have to go eat out as often."

I told her that I would keep that in mind, but I was an investor of the Hostess of Fertility, and thus we could technically eat a modest meal once in a while, I honestly told her so that she would know that she could take a break once in a while, she already works so many jobs that I worry about her health, I was asked to join her Familia to help her after all.

As we went towards the plaza that I knew we would meet Welf and Lily, I saw something that upset me, it seems one of the adventurers were screaming obscenities at Lily, it was thanks to my hearing that I could make out what they were saying, it seems my senses have gotten a lot better as live as an adventurer.

They were calling her a traitor for actually helping members of other Familia and not members of the Soma Familia. I could call bull on it, and say they just wanted another chance to bully her or take advantage of her, Lily did mention that her own Familia members did that, instead, I decided to walk towards them.

"Funny you should mention Soma, he happens to be a good friend of mine, but if this is causing you trouble, I could very easily go and talk with Soma about it, I mean it has been ages since we got to spend some time together, it would be nice to taste some of his new drink creations."

They were not expecting this at all, I know Soma is very protective of his drink recipes, and if he let me drink some of them without being a member of his Familia it made them realize I am not someone their patron God would appreciate they mess with.

Finally, we made it into the dungeon and I swear Mihra was walking through it like we were in the park, we were killing monsters left and right, but it was not stressful or dangerous at all, to us it was like a walk in the park, and every time we reached an open area we looked around.

I remember how it felt when I first came through these first four floors each time I went down to the floor where I would meet her, and couldn't help but laugh, now Mihra was walking with me down the very same descending passages, "Honestly Master Carnel, pay attention to where you are going, it is almost like you are not even watching where you are going."

Welf laughed and looked at her, "They know where they are going Little Lily, they are just remembering things that happened before meeting your or me, he is probably remembering every time they met in secret to one of their romantic dates, and no matter how you may wish that he forget about that, he will not, and that is something that I love about him."

She went near him and I think they didn't even realize we could hear every single word that they were saying, "I can't help it, and stop calling me Little, they are walking like they are in their own little world, honestly, why don't you hate that he is walking while holding that blasted Drow?"

Welf looked at her and smiled, "Because he values her it also means he will value the memories he makes with me, and that shows he does care, Hephaestus used to say, her Norse Lover even when apart she could love him by remembering the many hours they spent together, so no matter how jealous you may get, Bell Carnel is not going to change, you need to accept the good and the ill of a person to truly love him."

As we reached the seventh floor I was wondering something, "Well Welf, when did you decide to become a philosopher instead of a blacksmith? Cause if that is the case we should have gone to the local library rather than get to the eleventh floor of this dungeon?"

She laughed and kissed me on my right cheek, "And who said I can't be both handsome, Mihra are you feeling ill? Your face is all red for some reason?" She just smiled and said if her face was red it was a wonder Lily's wasn't green?

This made me and Welf both laugh at the idea, and we continued our way down the levels, eighth level was different than most, the level had trees and other large things, the entire floor reminded me of a frozen forest that never came back to life, the trees have no leaves, and then what seemed to be creeks were dry.

The only thing in the floor were two things, monsters, and dead trees, the small monsters were so slow it was not problem killing but the orcs they broke some of those dead trees and began to use them as weapons, thanks to me switching between my dagger and sword they proved to be difficult but nothing we couldn't manage.

The thing was there were these little lights near the fingers of my right hand, and it was almost like fireflies always flying near my right hand, Lily like always was picking up the things the monsters dropped, that is when I saw a large salamander chasing down three adventurers they managed to run away but they actually made the monster focus on Lily.

It looked like it was getting ready to roll into her but there was a dry creek between where the monster was and where Lily was, I honestly don't know what came over me, but the second the monster began to roll towards this little outcrop of rocks I knew something bad was about to happen, and without thinking it I heard a tiny bell, and as I did I cast a lightning blast at it.

I thought at best I would stun it and make it get stuck in the creek, but the monster was hit by my lightning blast and before it hit the ground even before it reached a very scared Lily, it burst into ashes and only the items dropped to the ground, **"WHAT WAS THAT?** **BELL YOU JUST KILLED THAT MONSTER WITH A SINGLE SPELL WHAT GIVES?** " I know for them it is rather shocking, but to me, I killed armies, destroyed mountains before what happened to me so it is not that big of a deal for me.

That is when I noticed the blue ball of fur shivering in sheer terror just behind a tree and realize that is where the salamander was going, don't tell me that salamander was actually chasing what I think it was chasing?

I can't believe it, I am searching for the daughter of Cerberus instead the three-headed puppy split into three and were actually searching for someone, and if the way this blue-haired puppy just jumped into my arms knocking me flat on my back and is currently too busy licking my face it seems that what she was looking for is me.

I tried to calm her down before Welf or Lily get angry enough due to her antics and decide to make a belt out of her, and looked at them, "Well it seems the daughter of Cerberus was actually looking for me, and she split herself into three puppies to search more ground, let's hope the other two are in the next floors or we will get really hungry, I only packed a light lunchbox."

Mihra just looked at me and began to show this proud look on her face, "Which is why you need me in your life, I happen to pack enough food for us to be able to search for a week. Remember, I used to cook most of the food I ate or shared with you on our little picnics." I swear I brought some food from Mia's restaurant.

One blue-haired puppy, three extremely upset and confused ladies decided there was nothing left for us to do and we went down to the next floor, the tenth floor, dead forest, I have seen graveyards more festive than this place. Now I got a floor with wingless dragons, I swear this makes me feel like every reptile I fought were dinosaurs.

It got so bad at the end of the tenth floor I would not be surprised to find a feathered velociraptor so a floor full of what I call the ancestors of modern birds later, I found yet another blue-haired puppy, this time she was the one chasing a group of velociraptors and they did have quite the colorful plumage.

The minute she saw me and the first puppy she ran tackled me yet again, licking my face for about two minutes and went to her sister and we ended up with a two-headed blue-haired wolf pup. Well, the crystals and items that came from these dinosaur looking monsters were massive, so in truth if anything else we were making quite the haul.

Now flying dinosaurs, I am not kidding you here, eleven floors down in this place and I found a place that was lit like I was on the ground, plants, mountains, rivers, and dozens of different flying dinosaurs, oh you got your usual troll, orc, and other monsters walking on the floor of the level but dozens of dinosaurs tend to steal the attention of anyone.

Especially since they decided that humans look like tasty snacks. I used lightning blast so many times I was getting a little bit light-headed truth to be told, and that is when one massive flying dinosaur came swooping down trying to kill me and the last puppy actually saved me, and she was quite happy to see me if the way her tail moved was any indication.

"Well Welf congratulations we got to the eleventh floor, you got the materials for your blacksmith certification test right? And we found the daughter of Cerberus, all in all, I consider this a success, now that all the monsters are dead, excuse me ladies for a second, I really need a nap."

That is when all three and the three-headed puppy began to laugh as if I told them a joke, alright I sort of did, "Master Bell I know that you are bored and everything but really? A pun?" As we began to walk up I could feel the eyes of Welf on me for some reason rather intently, "Welf no need to be shy, what can I do for you?"

She again laughed and pressed her body even closer to my side, "Nice of you to notice I wanted to speak with you, the truth is I need to borrow you for an entire day tomorrow, my workshop needs a lot of repairs, and so it would be really nice if you could help me out, you know you, me working to update my workshop, alone."

I think Mihra and Lily are both glaring daggers at Welf for saying that last part, "Master Bell don't you think with more people the cleaning and repairs to her place would go a lot faster?" Lily was sure the first to mention things it seems.

"Oh Little Lily I do appreciate your offer, but you see with the forge and me living there simply is not enough space for everyone in the party to come and help me, but it is big enough for me and Bell here, I do appreciate it, but I think me and Bell can take care of it on our own."

Mihra looked really upset as she heard this, "Or maybe you just want an excuse to get sweaty and then offer him to take a shower, but your shower is not that big so you will offer him to take it with you, just as an excuse to either check him out without anything on or a shameless attempt to have your way with him."

And here I was thinking Lily was direct if my friend is this angry, I think if I told Hestia about this she would try to murder Welf.

Welf, however, began to laugh, "You remind me of the goddess of my familia Mihra, she often said that she would do exactly something like that with her Norse God-lover, they would spend hours working together on many different things from armor to weapons, to even household utensils, any excuse so they could spend time together."

"She said having him near her and help her made that time she spent working by his side some of the happiest of her entire life, so don't blame me if I want to experience even a fraction of what she felt. I will be asking Bell here to help me make new armor for every one of you, so a little gratitude would not be uncalled for."

They looked at the ever-growing pile of materials Lily was carrying, I tried to offer her help but she said as a supporter this was nothing. "It seems Bell here guessed it, all the materials we harvested from the last three floors will go into making armor for Lily, Mihra, and some for myself, since Bell already has some of my armor."

They both looked at her and began to glare, "Then don't you need to get our measurements to make armor that actually fits us?" Welf laughed again and told her that Mihra seemed to have the sizes of another elf she once knew that was part of the Loki Familia and then she looked at Lily and I felt an insult coming.

"In truth Lily, the one that will give me the most trouble making is your armor, since apparently, you do not have many high expectations of my talents, it kind of hurts now that I think of it actually."

I was wrong, it was more than an insult, it was a hidden jab at her looks, boy Welf sure seemed to want to take any and all opportunities to mock, insult, or demean Lily, I guess she is going to simply go ballistic once she finds out I am actually the lover of Hephaestus was talking about when she was drowning her sorrows.

At the end of it, I have been keeping this secret from Hestia, Lily, Welf, and practically everyone that has known me since I first arrived in Orario, I have to keep this quiet, the last thing I need is for them to think that I can not or should not be allowed into the dungeon, my war hammer is in there somewhere.

The only thing that keeps me going is that one day I can regain that which was stolen from me, and when I can return to being the way I once was, I can finally be with the woman I love, and I can apologize to her for all the things she suffered because of me.

Well turns out they were not kidding Welf does live in a pretty desolate place, after all, her home is a one-room home, everything is in that one room, there is no kitchen, the bathroom and shower would be good to use to give a horse a bath, and the forge is the only thing besides what looked to be a bed that could fit an entire family.

I seem tables less big than this huge bed, and the other thing is her clothes were lying all over the place, and people say guys live in pigsties. "Hope you don't mind the mess Bell, I been simply too busy making things to get enough time to clean up. You are a guy, I know at least you will not make a fuss as Little Lily would."

I simply went by the place and picked a few pieces of clothing and put them as far away from her forge as possible, "Be more careful though, these pieces were liable to start a fire, now what do you need my help with Welf?" She began to laugh for some strange reason, and she was in tears by the time she managed to stop laughing.

"I guess this means you been in a long intimate relationship with a woman, for you to be able to pick up pieces of my underwear without even flinching or blushing, and here I was thinking I could be your first, oh well, no need to cry over something that there is nothing I can do about, I need your help moving and organizing some of the metal supplies I have, can you take care of that while I begin working on Lily's armor?"

I simply asked her where and how she wanted them, she simply left me to decide. I began to sort the metals by types, and each time needed to have a bin I simply don't like having this spread like it is, it is liable to cause an accident, I used large packing crates as a means to organize and separate the metals.

Honestly, I had tougher times back home dealing with the idiots drinking themselves under the table at the mead hall, "Alright, that is done, all metals separated and sorted here Welf, how are you doing on the armor?" She laughed sweat glistening off her body, she apparently took off her armor to work on the armor, that is just asking for a third-degree burn.

"Actually since you were so focused on that, I finished them all, Lily's and Mihra's armor are done, so Bell do you know that when you focus on something for too long, you were to mutter in ancient Norse? I found it rather strange for a guy to know the ancient Norse language. I also invited you here because unlike anywhere in Orario, I could ask you things here and you can feel comfortable knowing nobody would hear us."

"Before I joined you Hephaestus has been telling me that if I could help you out that would make her worry a lot less, then I heard you mutter those strange words in ancient Norse, so Bell please tell me, I swear on my goddess's name that I will keep your secret, please Bell tell me who you are that my goddess is so concerned about you?"

I guess since she made an oath on the leader of her Familia I had no reason to deny her queries, "Who am I ye ask? I shall answer thee, long ago my war hammer, the conduit of my power was stolen, broken into pieces it has and tossed into the dungeon we hunt monsters in, till I recover my war hammer, I am as ye observe, weaker than I ever dared imagine, who am I? I am Thor, God of Thunder and Justice. Warrior deity and one of the sons of Odin."


	12. Chapter 12

This is a is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon fanfiction only.

She stopped on her tracks clearly she was not expecting this, her hammer dropped from her hand and sadly it ends up hitting me on my foot. "Damn it, that hurts. What is it? You have questions, I got answers and since you promise to keep this between us, ask what you will."

She looked at me and looked at the hammer, as she picked it up, "So you are the lover of my familia's goddess." I told her without hesitation I am, "So why did you leave her side if you swore to love her for all eternity? Why be under another goddess if you planned to join a Familia, and why do you even need a blessing if you are a God?"

She went from shocked to looking like she was curious to angry in less time than I see my fellow Asgardians drink mead. "My symbol, the conduit of my power was stolen from me, and it appears it is broken and has been taken to the depths of the dungeon, I can not summon it as it is, I am diminished, I have no more power than a mortal, and only my talents I required a blessing to do and hunt down the beast that has the pieces of my hammer."

"Why I went to explain this to my dearly beloved, and she agreed that a blessing should be the most expedient means to begin my search, however, she requested I help a friend of hers, Hestia has been alone for some time and thus my beloved worries for her dear friend, as her request I accepted the blessing of her friend and joined her Familia to help the friend of my beloved."

I began to rub my foot, boy that really did hurt quite a bit as a dark purple color appeared on the skin of my right foot, "As you can see, I am not immune to harm, and as I said as long as I do not possess my hammer my godhood is denied to me, as such I could not be with my beloved even if we both desire to do so. Any other old wounds you wish to open and salt Welf? What troubles ye?"

The color returned to normal pretty fast, "So you became a member of Hestia's familia because Hephaestus asked you, why can't you forge another war hammer to replace the one that was stolen?" She honestly thinks that war hammer was something so simple to replace? I could never in a million years disregard that hammer.

I looked at her and began to shake my head, "Because that war hammer not only has been with me far longer than any can remember, not only is it a gift that my own father Odin gave to me, not only is it a gift that my own sister had a hand in making, and not only is it a masterpiece of dwarven smithing, it is something I came to rely on as one of my most trusted allies."

"I would never abandon Mjolnir, the very notion is appalling, I could not even consider such a dishonorable act. Due to the strength of our ties her absence weakens me to this state, I can not abandon my war hammer, and had the roles been reversed Mjolnir would never abandon me, only Hephaestus has ever been allowed to wield her for any other reason other than combat due to our love for each other."

She finished the last piece of armor and placed it to cool down on a bench, "You called your war hammer she or her several times in the last few minutes almost like this Norse weapon has a soul, why is that? I must confess Bell I almost felt a little jealous when you speak about finding her with such passion in your voice."

"She has a mind and soul of her own, she determines who is worthy to wield her, and normally would travel any distance should I summon her, but according to Loki she has been smashed into pieces and those pieces are scattered in the dungeon, so I must keep my identity hidden using the name Bell Carnel, so that I may find the pieces, then I must find a smith of Hephaestus caliber to repair my war hammer."

She moved behind me and for some reason, I felt more skin than I should, "And so tell me, Thor, what happens once you two are restored, your godhood once again your own?" That was something I never expecter Welf to ask, "I honestly do not know, Hestia by then I hope has enough members in her Familia to aid her, but sadly I made an oath not to abandon her, so I will either continue as I am or form a Familia of my own."

What do I get the feeling that somewhere as I was organizing all the material in her home she was getting out of the few pieces of clothing she was wearing and she is as naked as the day she was born? "That is interesting but contradictory, Gods are not allowed in the dungeon, a great tragedy would happen if a God entered the dungeon for the dungeon seems to hate Gods more than anything else, so how will you be able to enter when no other God can?"

I showed her a brand on my body and she couldn't believe it, "Hades granted me his blessing, as long as I am so blessed entering the dungeon will be allowed since the dungeon is his domain. Now Welf mind telling me why did you take all the few clothes that you had on?"

She laughed and she pressed her body more into my body, "I guess my nipples gave me away, they must be hard enough to break eggs if you felt them through your clothes, why did I remove my clothes, silly Bell, if anyone needs a good shag it is you, and now that you undressed emotionally why wouldn't I do the same? The loyalty and warm regards to your hammer arouse me to the point, that I am having a real hard time just keeping it under control, and do not throw caution to the wind and have my way with you."

I was quick to remind her that Hephaestus more than likely would beat her skull in if we did that, my beloved is as sweet and gentle as she can be cruel and merciless when she is absolutely pissed off, the fact that Mihra is with me, and yes, she knows who Mihra is and if she hears Welf slept with me in her forge home well that is not going to be something she will smile about.

I told her, but she flat out said that she actually got approval by Hephaestus to sleep with her Norse lover any time she wanted if she ever found him, I was, of course, going to ask for written approval and that is when she pointed to the plaque right next to me she didn't write her approval, she made it into an iron plaque and she has it right by her bed.

"So you can imagine how happy I am that it was you who was her Norse God-lover, something about if anyone needs a good shag that she can't enjoy well she can consider me since I am a member of her Familia to be sleeping with you by proxy. So how long are you going to keep me waiting for bare buck naked in my home? Take off your clothes and ride me! I have been looking forward to this since the day you bought my first armor set."

So without warning, she threw me across the floor on to her bed and proceeded to take my clothes off in the quickest manner possible, damn it, I really like those clothes, and as my, she began to lick my manhood like she was licking a piece of sugar candy and it was standing hard as a brick and like a flag pole.

The only difference is she sometimes place it between her breasts and used them to rub the length of it and lick the head, think of Loki bare buck naked in a cold day, have to keep thinking of this or else I am going to shoot my load all over her face and tits.

She finally stopped and smiled, "I have tasted a few of these but yours is definitely what I call yummy, I see why my patron will not sleep with any other man besides you, how about you reciprocate and let me see how good you are with that tongue of yours before you ruin me for any other man."

Well I could hardly say no especially after what she did, so I grabbed her hips she opened her legs, and I put my hands on her butt, as I smelled and licked the lips of her womanhood, and paid special attention to that one spot that I knew she would appreciate me paying attention to, so basically I licked her in the outside, while screwing her with my fingers, yes plural, and then with my tongue, she was asking for more after only five minutes of me doing this to her.

She grabbed me and screamed, **"JUST TAKE ME YOU NORSE STALLION!"** Well I had no reason to hold back she was definitely ready for it, as I slammed my entire length into her she screamed in joy and I kept plowing her over and over again, and I kept hearing her hard breathing and pleading if not begging for me not to stop.

The morning sunlight was on our naked sweaty bodies and she was breathing hard with her head on my chest, good thing I learned a lot of positions while I was one of the Avengers it seems, I really have to thank Natalia if I ever find her reincarnation. "Well I would say that I am effectively ruined for any other man, I will never find a man who can fuck me so thoroughly as you did last night. Hestia, Mihra and Little Lily might be angry but I don't give a shit, I never been fucked or felt so satisfied in my entire life."

Yes, they will be angry, Lily most of all since she pretty much predicted this would happen, I was really naive, what else could happen when a man and a woman are working on a forge, making them take off their clothes because they were so sweaty, of course, they will think of doing exactly what we did. I think even Lily suspected that Welf had this ulterior motive when she invited me here.

"So Hephaestus gave you this plaque knowing that this could happen, somehow considering what some of her relatives have done, I am not surprised, but what made you want to sleep with me? In this form, I can't honestly say I am that desirable." She looked at me and began to really look like she was thinking about it.

"As a blacksmith, my family was well known for making magic weapons, you know weapons that can cause magical effects or damage, but even if I make them an amazing weapon or piece of gear the person will just end up taking credit for the victory over a monster or clearing a floor and not recognize that what I made helped, some go as far as to scratch off the blacksmith's mark off a weapon."

She smiled and looked at me, "Not you, you never did that, you bought an armor that most would consider the garbage and really found a use for it, and then when that armor was ruined, you asked to buy another one and asked one made by me by name. That minute I felt really appreciated, I can't tell you how happy I felt to know someone appreciated something I made."

"Adventures have pride, but we blacksmith has pride in our talents and our creations, you acknowledge mine regardless of how many people shamed my family name. I guess I can see why my patron goddess fell in love with you since I too probably fell in love with you for the same reason."

In another place, I didn't even know something else was happening.

"So Hephaestus what is it that you needed to talk to me about? It sounded like it was something urgent." Hephaestus looked a bit worried and even a bit afraid since what she was going to say was something that had been bothering her since the time Bell joined her Familia by her request.

"Hestia, what I am going to tell you is something I been keeping hidden from quite a bit, but I can't do this anymore. I need to get this thing off my chest, you do remember the name of the Norse Deity that is my lover don't you?" Hestia didn't even wait for a second to say that of course, she knows the name of Thor, the idiot that pretty much had abandoned her since they came down from the divine realm.

"And you remember that time when Zeus got his lightning bolt stolen? How angry and freaked out he was?" Hestia began to laugh, "Freaked out is too kind, he was losing his mind, he wanted to destroy the entire universe if only to find it because without it he kept saying he would be no better than one of those human heroes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

She sat down on the armchair behind her desk and took a deep breath, "Hestia, Thor never abandoned me, please swear that what I am about to tell you will never be revealed by you to anyone, I am serious Auntie, this is important enough that I am asking you not as my friend but as my Aunt, so this should tell you how serious I am."

She lifted her right hand and swore on her soul and on the name of their pantheon she would never willingly reveal anything she told her. "Thor got his war hammer stolen, it was broken into pieces and it is currently what is making all the monsters in the dungeon go crazy. Because it was broken into pieces, his powers have diminished just like Zeus feared would happen to him."

"So Thor is now no better than a human hero? Why the secrecy?" Hephaestus pretty much looked at her and began to shake her head, "Because of two reasons, Freya would jump at the chance to claim him, you know how she always tried to make him hers, and the other is what I asked him to do for me. I asked my lover to join your Familia to help you, yes Hestia, Bell Carnel is Thor, he uses that name because of the damage this would cause if his believers saw Thor as he currently is."

That is when Hestia looked at Hephaestus for a second and began to laugh hysterically, it was really scaring Hephaestus actually. "So Bell the guy who I suspected was in love with that bitch from Loki's Familia, is actually your lover, well I guess you should be more pissed than I am since he has that drow, that blacksmith, furry girl, probably that half-elf that is his advisor, and not to mention a few people from that restaurant he likes already in love with him, not to mention the goddesses that are or would fall in love with him."

Hephaestus simply smiled, "I wouldn't be that upset actually, you know Thor was always a bit too much for me to handle on my own, so I would welcome their help in keeping that lover of mine satisfied in the old sack I don't mind, I gave Welf a plaque explain this to him. As long as I approve of the woman who wants to join his harem, I don't mind at all. I know how much he loves me, I have no doubt of that or that there is not enough room in his heart for others."

Hestia took a deep breath and looked at her now she was worried, "So what if I told you I want to sleep with that guy? Would you be angry with me?" Hephaestus told her that as long as she truly loved Thor or better call him Bell, she was not against it. "My lover was a very good judge of character, as a deity of Justice how could he be anything else, so if he agrees and you want to enjoy him in bed as one of his lovers, by all means, Auntie Hestia go for it. Just be warned, he might ruin you for any other men, like what happened to me."

That exact moment I was not even aware Lily and Mihra were both outsides of Welf's home and apparently they been there since we got to her home, and also heard everything we did with each other, because Lily was glaring daggers at Welf, as she kicked open the door.

"See I told you, I told you Mihra, this entire thing about Welf wanting to make gear was a load of crap, all she wanted to do was fuck, and boy did she ever, don't bother denying it Ms. Crozzo we heard every damn moan and groan we know exactly how much you enjoyed it as you screamed for him to fuck you harder."

Welf could do little except smile and blush and she was hearing this while I was holding her naked body against mine. "As for your Master Bell, whatever the hell happened to be faithful to your so-called lover, you know, the one that you said you practically considered your wife? Not so faithful since you were pretty much banging the hell out of this blacksmith chick. Care to explain and why are you so damn quiet Mihra? I would think you would be as pissed as I am."

Mihra looked at me or should I say the lower part of my body and blushed, before taking a deep breath, "Well as far as I understand it, Lily, he is not actually married, so as long as he is single, he is fair game, and as for me being upset, well I am a little more understanding than you are it seems, right now I am only wondering when do I get to experience what Welf did."

Lily was speechless after she heard her say that, she just kept opening her mouth and unable to say what she was thinking, "How about we let Hestia decide? Bell is a member of her Familia after all. I imagine if you are this upset and you are not even a member of his Familia, Hestia will be furious, but let's face it, I haven't met someone as nice and considerate as him, and I couldn't help falling in love with him. You can imagine why I would fall in love with Bell don't you Mihra?"

She simply nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, I for once agree with Welf lets Hestia decide, as for Bell I guess he needed to sleep with a woman, a good shag as it were, cause even you must have noticed that sometimes he was getting a bit cranky, grouchy, crotchety, well at least for now he will be a little more pleasant."

I for one can't believe what I am hearing, yes I do feel a lot better but when was I Cranky? Grouchy? Crotchety? Since they are pretty much looking at both of us naked, might as well get dressed, "Well Welf, thank you very much for a pleasurable evening, if I managed to survive the rage of Hestia we might do this again some other time. Now, how about you two stop looking at us like that turn around so we can dress. We can't very well go and meet Hestia like this now can we?"

Lily did turn around rather quickly but Mihra simply whispered that she wanted to be next to sleep with me before she walked to where Lily was and turned around and looked at the forge just like Lily was doing. We got dressed, rather quickly with Welf helping me and I help her. Good thing I know how to hook a bra.

"Well that makes us at least presentable, don't worry Welf, if anything the only one that will more than likely suffer is me, now come follow me to the Chapel that the Hestia Familia calls home, and see what Hestia thinks of this, because if anything I get the feeling she already knows."

As we walked into the Chapel she was standing right in the middle of the room, "Oh you better believe I know, I had a very interesting conversation with Hephaestus about her Norse Lover, might as well call him or you her Norse Husband, so all this time, all this damn time you been lying to me ever since we met, haven't you Bell or should I say, Thor? Yes, I know Thor God of Justice and Thunder. She explained everything, and I do mean everything."

Mihra decided to walk closer to me, "Well since all the secrets are coming out, might as well, say mine as well, I am the Minotaur that Thor was dating in the dungeons, the one that Ainz killed, when he killed my brother Hades decided to use his remains to make a new body for me and I was reborn as a Dark Elf, why Dark? Because I was reborn underground, and my body was made using remains that came from a being born from the dungeon."

Lily decided to walk near me, and she too took a deep breath and looked at Hestia, "And I am the daughter of Soma, so there, what did Hephaestus say about this, since Bell here is pretty much her husband?"

Welf was actually very quiet about all this, "She said that her beloved was often too much to handle by herself and that she has no problem at all if he has a harem as long as she approves of the women that make up said harem, she also said that he had to use the name Bell since it would cause people to lose faith in him if they knew how diminished Thor was simply because his icon weapon was stolen and broken into pieces."

"So, as far as Hephaestus and myself are concerned, I have been approved to be in his harem, she also approves of Loki, Freya, and a list of Goddesses that may even include Athena, Artemis, and Demeter. So if anything I am hurt that Bell here lied to me for so long, I am not angry, and yes Welf, I am the goddess of the hearth so yes, I know exactly in how many positions you two screwed like a pair of mangy wolves in heat."

Mihra finally decided to simply wait for everyone to be quiet, "Alright, Bell, I known you before you found Hestia, met Lily, don't want to even think about the blonde bitch that killed me and ruined our date, and now Welf Crozzo. If you needed to sleep with anyone why not me? I have been staying in your room. If anyone was available, able and more than willing it was me."

Hestia looked at her with such a glare I swear she was making me feel nervous, "Because if he did that under my own roof, I would say to the underworld with the restrictions on my powers and I would have made the entire structure collapse on you. Like I would have with them if Hephaestus hadn't explained everything to me."

Basically my long time lover, and the person I consider my wife knew this would happen eventually and planned ahead, I really need to speak with her if only to apologize for this. "So one question, if Thor is a god and which he is, how is he able to enter the dungeon at all? Or why did he join Hestia's familia when he could have formed one of his own?"

I guess I better explain yet again, "Because I am in this diminished form, I only have my natural abilities, and I am essentially mortal when I do not have my Hammer, so that is why I can not sleep with a Goddess, the simple act of sexual intercourse with them still possessing their godhood, would cause my body to break into so many pieces, I would die."

"Do you think I don't want to be with Hephaestus, she is the goddess of the forge, she is literally hot enough to melt metal, I would be a pile of ashes by the time we even began to get done with foreplay."

Hestia looked at me and began shaking her head, "That is true, if we still had our Divine Powers, which we don't, since we locked away our divinity to live among our children, in all the joys, and all the ills with them, so in truth Thor, even if you regain your war hammer, the only thing that would change is that your body would change as your godhood is restored to you, but that is it."

"Your divine powers would still be locked like the rest of the gods and goddesses that live in Orario, and as such you could have been sleeping with me, Hephaestus, or any other goddess, like say Freya, you do not have to worry about me getting angry, worry when Freya finds out that you been in Orario all this time, and never visited her, or even worse, instead of sleeping with her, which is something she always wanted, you slept with Welf."

"In truth, I guess the one that should be really afraid if Welf if she didn't have Hephaestus blessing, why Freya would go complete war goddess and hunt her down like a mangy beast and kill her. Which brings to me a question of my own, Thor, what happens after you get your iconic weapon?"

I thought it was pretty obvious, "Why I form a Familia of my own, and officially marry Hephaestus, I am also aware of the vow I made with you Hestia, to never leave you alone, so don't worry I will always be there to help you, as for the dungeon Hades, placed a blessing on me as well, and he pretty much told me that once I am whole again, I can enter his domain whenever I want, that includes the dungeon."

Lily just looked at me and then looked like she was in deep thought, "How exactly are you diminished? What do you feel differently about yourself?" Well if I had to be honest, my abilities and physical prowess were about a thousand times less than it used to be back in the divine realm. I am definitely weaker, not to mention smaller, I think I lost about a foot in height alone.

This made Mihra and the others really quiet, "He has been clearing dungeon floors like it was nothing, killing hundreds if not thousands of monsters by himself, and that is when he is according to him a thousand times weaker? If he regains his war hammer, I think he will not be fighting monsters, but rather chasing them."

I looked at her, "Mihra I am surprised at you, you should know that the Dungeon always finds a way to test adventurers, and since we are disclosing everything well Loki and Freya know who I am, after all, we are members of the same Norse Pantheon. and yes Loki is also quite dear to me. And Loki found out when Ainz killed my friend and I confronted her and told that mutt not to spread any lies about my dear friend's death and Freya figured it out during the tournament. I am also an investor in the Hostess of Fertility."


End file.
